ok so ive been with the father of my child for a little over a year and we are expecting our first child in like 6 days...and ever since we've been together his ex has been an issue bc he raised her kid for like 3 years...but ever since my due date has gotten closer she's become more of a problem. i told him that i understand that he wants to be in the boy's life but that doesnt mean that he has to be in hers. i mean yeah he does...but not in the way he is. when we got together he had gone with her to pick up the boy and i didnt have a problem with it bc we had just got together and i didnt really know if we were gonna last...but now she wants him there all the time and is constantly calling him and texting him even when the boy isnt around. her and i dont exactly get along...and she told me that if she wanted him she could have him back then like 2 days later she texted him and said that she missed him & needed him in her life...so i asked him about it and he said that he had talked to her that day for a long time about their past and everything that happened between them and he wouldnt tell me exactly what was said...he said it was stuff that hurt too much to talk to me about it...but what i dont understand is if he can talk to her about it and not me...then why doesnt he see that it hurts me that he wont tell me...it really makes me worry about our relationship. oh and to top it all off the day that i found out about the texts i was in the hospital right before i found them. so apparently he was texting her while i was laying in a hospital bed! idk. i told him that if he talks to her, in any way, while im the hospital having his baby i will leave him. and also if she shows up there...i WILL kill her. without a doubt and without even thinking about it. so am i paranoid or should i worry?

I think he should back off just out of respect for you. Maybe you should have a little chat with the bitch and tell her to stay away. Its a sucky situation to be in and hopefully he will realize how much it bothers you before it's to late.

What a bitch...I would be pissed! They always come around when things are going good, just to try to f it up! I would tell her exactly how I felt...no beating around the bush what so ever!!

ive told him how i feel about it...but he just says that hes not there for her....hes there for the kid...but idk bc he talks to her more than him!!! and he gets real upset and makes me feel bad for it...i know i shouldnt but then we get into this huge fight and i cry my eyes out and he says hes not sorry for being there for alex. (thats the boy)

Sounds like she's getting really uneasy about you having his baby as it will be his and maybe she's afarid he won't be as involved with her child as he use to be which means he won't be in her life either. She obviously has not let go and honestly if my husband was doing that I'd be a tad pissed especially if he didn't talk to me about it. After we had our son his ex tried to break up our marriage and he would "hide" it because he didn't want to make me mad. The worst part is he didn't see wth she was doing he's so dense in that part of life. What I had to do wat put him in my shoes to see how excatly I was feeling. So try to put him in your shoes using an example of if you were talking and texting your ex like that. See if that helps out if not tell him excatly how you are feeling and how it hurts you that he doesn't talk to you about it and that you feel like he's hiding something from you.

As for the ex I'd have a talk with her try to be calm about it but tell her you and him are together now having a child of your own and she's only making things worse for your family.

maybe i'm not the best one for advice with this cause i am jealous type of person!! lol but i would be upset just as you are!! i think talking with the chick is a good idea as well. and really let him know how it upsets you. he should understand that you and him are having a child together, and ya'll should come before that other girl and her son. cause i do understand that he loves him, but at the same time, he cant neglect you, or make you feel shity about the situation.
i hope everything works out for you!!

Quoting MarcyHunt:“ ive told him how i feel about it...but he just says that hes not there for her....hes there for the kid...but ... [snip!] ... but then we get into this huge fight and i cry my eyes out and he says hes not sorry for being there for alex. (thats the boy)”

Tell him you realize he's there for Alex but he needs to see how manpiluative she is being.

He raised her child for 3 years, he apparently loves it, he is probably only talking to her so much because she won't let him see him if he doesn't be nice to her. After your baby is born he will be a little more busy and maybe will have a little less to do with her.

ive tried talking to her in the beginning...i even tried to be her friend if you can believe that!!! i watched alex for her so she could go sleeping around even! and i thought i was being the better person bc i was not only getting along with her but also bill was getting to see alex all the time...but she crossed the line one time too many and i quit being nice....so now shes being really bitchy and trying to break us up.

Quoting MarcyHunt:“ ive tried talking to her in the beginning...i even tried to be her friend if you can believe that!!! ... [snip!] ... she crossed the line one time too many and i quit being nice....so now shes being really bitchy and trying to break us up.”

Sounds a lot like my situation I was really nice to his ex we even talked on the phone for like 6 hours one night getting it all out. Well then she started that shit behind my back and I actually had to take these emails I found to his mother to get advice since she was the only person that knew him better than me. He was pissed but I broke down crying and told him excatly how I felt and put him in my situation he finally realized how she was being and stopped talking to her. Now he never raised her kid so that's the difference. I guess tell him the shit she has said to you like "I can have him back if I wanted him" and so on.

I am a jealous person as well. if it was me, I would tell that lady that if she wants your man to be involved in her sons life (and not the bio dad - WTH is up with that?!), then she should coordinate them seeing eachother through you!

You should worry about the ex. It is really messed up that he is talking to her behind your back. And he won't even tell you all about it because it "hurts too much." What a bunch of crap. I don't like the broad and I don't even know her. I was getting all fired up just reading the story! Funny. You should be his #1 girl, not her or any other girl. YOU! Maybe he just doesn't realize how important to you. That girl needs a good swift kick to the ass!

Ok call me cold and a horrible bitch but I was in your situation. The kid wasn't my husbands child but he had raised him from the age of18 months to 3 years. I never liked the fact that the kid was around at all. So when I became pregnant with my oldest child I told my husband that he had to make a choice. Did he want his ex and her kid in his life or did he want me and HIS kid in his life? I know you are all thinking what a bitch. But how much should I have had to deal with, seriously. She called all the time and would drive past the house and honk and when I would be out jogging, I was a health nut, she would show up like she had been waiting for me to leave. I was not going to bring a baby into that kind of life. NO WAY NO HOW.
Well my husband didn't think twice about it. He explained to her that he had his life to move on with and that she needed to do the same. Now the little boy is 12 and lives with his own father. I don't feel bad about making my husband choose either. We have been happily married for 7 years and have 3 gorgeous kids together with another on the way so it's obviously the right choice.
My suggestion is tell him that he has to make a decision. You or her. His baby or another man's. It's on him to make the decision.

Quoting Al's Mommy:“ You should worry about the ex. It is really messed up that he is talking to her behind your back. And ... [snip!] ... her or any other girl. YOU! Maybe he just doesn't realize how important to you. That girl needs a good swift kick to the ass!”

oooooooooooooh i AGREEEEEE!!!! lol

OP-u need some help kickin her ass?? i'm SURE its a lot of us on herewho would help you out, GLADLY!!  

Quoting CynthiaRenee:“ Ok call me cold and a horrible bitch but I was in your situation. The kid wasn't my husbands child but ... [snip!] ... suggestion is tell him that he has to make a decision. You or her. His baby or another man's. It's on him to make the decision.”

Honestly no I don't think you are a cold horrible bitch lol, I completely understand why you would do that. From the sounds of it both women were using their kids to get to the men. I'm glad to hear that things worked out for both your family and the kid (glad to know he got to know his own father)