re: Pillow Angel
3302 postsposted 12th Mar
Quoting God:“ I understand that the parents did what they perceived to be in the best interest of their child and ... [snip!] ... the practical purposes for it. I also honestly think a great deal of the motivation is to make it easier for the parents. C.”
making it easier for the parents, ultimately means better care for Ashley so it works both ways..it benefits the parents so they can better care for Ashley.
I have 1 child & live in Houston, Texas
3240 postsposted 12th Mar
Quoting CatLuvr83:“ 1. Doing things illegally was a bad choice. 2. Did they chemically stunt the growth or surgically ... [snip!] ... do a what-if...suppose Ashley were an Andrew. Would anyone feel as upset over stunting the growth of a male and snipping him?”
It's a good question--and I'd have some issues with the surgical route. I'm fairly certain that they CAN do it chemically, but it's been months since I read about it--I'd need to double check to be sure.
I have 1 child & live in Connecticut
2029 postsposted 12th Mar
That was sooo sad to read.
I sat here and discussed this with my mom and we both agreed that we never wouldve even thought about something like this. Less likely we both would never have even done this to any child. To me, you get what you get (toput it frankly), God gave you this child and you are to love and cherish that child. It must be hard for them, but Id deal with it.
quoteI sat here and discussed this with my mom and we both agreed that we never wouldve even thought about something like this. Less likely we both would never have even done this to any child. To me, you get what you get (toput it frankly), God gave you this child and you are to love and cherish that child. It must be hard for them, but Id deal with it.
I have 1 child & live in Tucson, Arizona
988 postsposted 12th Mar
Hmmm. I've read through this whole post and I've sat and pondered it for about twenty minutes before deciding to post. I think that while yes, Ashley may only have the capabilities of a 6 month old...there may be a cure in the future! You never know. I agree in saying that things shouldn't be done simply because there is a chance that something MIGHT happen.
I also feel the parents were being selfish and trying to make life easier on themselves. They were blessed with this child, and were supposed to take care of her the way she was given to them. If they weren't capable or ready for the task at hand, then I'm SURE there is a family out there who would have LOVED to take her and take care of her and allow her to remain how she was..
quoteI also feel the parents were being selfish and trying to make life easier on themselves. They were blessed with this child, and were supposed to take care of her the way she was given to them. If they weren't capable or ready for the task at hand, then I'm SURE there is a family out there who would have LOVED to take her and take care of her and allow her to remain how she was..
I have 1 child & live in Willard, Ohio
5413 postsposted 12th Mar
Quoting My Evil Twin:“ If this were the case, then I'd agree with you. However, from what I've looked into, making things ... [snip!] ... to care for, in so far as I could tell from my reading on it, this is icing on the cake rather than the cake itself.”
that's a very interesting way to approach this...I don't think I would have looked at it from that view...
I have 14 kids & live in North Carolina
posted 24th Mar
To the people who are so upset about what these parents did: you sicken me. This little girl has the mind and abilities of an infant. She is not going to be cured of this. Once she gets to a certain size, it will be impossible for her parents to care for her at home. She will have to be institutionalized. INSTITUTIONALIZED. DO YOU GET THIS?? Would you want YOUR PRECIOUS CHILD to be institutionalized?????? Do you know what happens in such places??? And because she is an infant in her mind, she will not understand WHY she is being separated from the people who love her. All she will know is that she is in a strange place and that there are now strangers "taking care" of her. Yes, she is a person - and a person who deserves to be happy and loved. How is having the body of an adult going to make her happy? HOW? What about when she gets monthly menstrual cramps, she will have no idea why she is going through this pain every month!! Her life is hard enough already, why put her through this when it is not necessary? We're not talking about a person who is mildly disabled!! My son is severely disabled also. He is almost 3 years old. He is already getting difficult to carry, bathe, etc. It will be over my dead body that he is put into an institution because he is too large for me to take care of. I'm not saying that I'm going to try to get a similar procedure done for him.. It is too early in the game to think about that. But you people who are criticizing these parents...aren't you lucky that you can sit back and point your finger at them, when you're not the one who will have endure the sorrow and constant worry of having a severely disabled child? Of having a child who will remain an infant for the rest of her life?? How dare you judge them!! Height and weight are the enemy of people with these severe disabilities. You know NOTHING about it. You have NO RIGHT to judge. What they did is out of love for their daughter - it is not to make is "easier" for them to care for her. It is to allow them to be ABLE to continue caring for her. HOW do youNOT understand this?
quoteI live in Ohio
29212 postsposted 24th Mar
Quoting LJH:“ To the people who are so upset about what these parents did: you sicken me. This little girl has the ... [snip!] ... is "easier" for them to care for her. It is to allow them to be ABLE to continue caring for her. HOW do youNOT understand this?”
Conversely, how dare you in turn judge anyone else in this post?
I see that this is obviously a sensitive subject for you, but perhaps writing a well thought out post that isn't highly inflammatory would serve you better if you want to get your voice heard.
C.
I'm due March 19th, have 1 child & live in St. Catharines, Ontario
posted 24th Mar
Quoting Pr0nkBeth:“ You are modifying someone to be smaller so that they are more managable for yourself.
No, that is not why they did it. They did it so that Ashley can stay with the people who love her, so that SHE can be COMFORTABLE, and so she can enjoy more activities in her day to day life. I don't know how much you weigh, but can you imagine having to sit or lay in the same position all the time? The larger you are, the more UNCOMFORTABLE it is. It is a FACT that the larger a child like this is, the more problems they have with their joints and ligaments, their bones not growing correctly, pressure sores, etc. Do you have any kids with a severe disability such as this, where they will remain an infant both cognitively and physically (unable to even crawl or sit up) forever? You need to count your blessings and stop judging people who are trying to do the best they can to help their daughter live a happy and comfortable life.
I live in Ohio
9148 postsposted 24th Mar
I can speak from personal experience on this particular subject but with the opposite sex.
My older brother had an accident when he was 5 years old that left him severely handicapped, he can't talk, walk, feed himself, NOTHING he wears a diaper has to be in a wheelchair and needs constant care. My brother was in the care of my mother for quite some time before he just became too heavy for her to lift any longer. My mother is only 4 '11 and my brother ended up reaching 6'2 and I am not clear on his weight. It was getting impossible for her to pick him up, we did end up hiring a day nurse to come in and aid in helping my mom with him but it did all become very overwhelming and so he was placed in a care facility that could give him the proper care that he needed.
It is very hard for someone to take care of a special needs child once they become adults you have no idea how many teenagers were placed in the care home that my brother was in because they just became too difficult to care for, sadly there were even some that were pretty much dropped off and left there. I don't think that these procedures needed to be done until they did all that was needed to ensure that what they were doing was legal. But I can see and understand why they did what they did, some of which I don't agree with though.
quoteMy older brother had an accident when he was 5 years old that left him severely handicapped, he can't talk, walk, feed himself, NOTHING he wears a diaper has to be in a wheelchair and needs constant care. My brother was in the care of my mother for quite some time before he just became too heavy for her to lift any longer. My mother is only 4 '11 and my brother ended up reaching 6'2 and I am not clear on his weight. It was getting impossible for her to pick him up, we did end up hiring a day nurse to come in and aid in helping my mom with him but it did all become very overwhelming and so he was placed in a care facility that could give him the proper care that he needed.
It is very hard for someone to take care of a special needs child once they become adults you have no idea how many teenagers were placed in the care home that my brother was in because they just became too difficult to care for, sadly there were even some that were pretty much dropped off and left there. I don't think that these procedures needed to be done until they did all that was needed to ensure that what they were doing was legal. But I can see and understand why they did what they did, some of which I don't agree with though.
I have 2 kids & 2 angel babies & live in Pennsylvania
posted 24th Mar
Quoting LJH:“ No, that is not why they did it. They did it so that Ashley can stay with the people who love her, so ... [snip!] ... and stop judging people who are trying to do the best they can to help their daughter live a happy and comfortable life.”
All anyone can say is "I think this is why they did it".
None of us are the parents to say with 100% certainty what the motivation was.
You, while in a similiar situation, are only able to make comments of that nature about your own choices.
C.
I'm due March 19th, have 1 child & live in St. Catharines, Ontario
posted 24th Mar
Quoting *Berrrr:“ I'm SURE there is a family out there who would have LOVED to take her and take care of her and allow her to remain how she was..”
Are you serious??? You can't be serious. Ok, then why don't you adopt a child like this? I didn't think so. People do not adopt children like this. They remain wards of the state and live in an institution for the rest of their lives, getting questionable physical care and little in the way of emotional and cognitive stimulation.
These parents obviously love this child and are doing what they can to ensure that they will be the ones providing her with the care she needs. They are not doing to it to make it easier on them. Until you are in a situation such as this, you cannot presume to know how it is to love a child like this and worry about the day when that child will be too big for you to care for. The baby that you are carrying...would you just allow someone else to raise her/him?
I live in Ohio
posted 24th Mar
Quoting God:“ writing a well thought out post that isn't highly inflammatory would serve you better if you want to get your voice heard. C.”
My post was well thought out. Obviously people who are jumping to the conclusion that Ashley's parents did a horrible thing didn't stop and put themselves in their shoes. What some of these posters said was inflammatory to me and other parents in my situation. Thankfully they don't have to be put in a situation where their beloved child is a helpless infant and will be for the rest of their lives. To have to sit there and watch your child not be able to do simple things like play with a toy or even sit up on his own, while other children are running around having a blast...it's excruciating. To have him at the pool, to watch him get an excited look on his face when another child even comes near him, and then to watch that look fade away as the child keeps on going because my son is invisible to them. And then these people are saying that I should give him to somone else to take care of, when I am not only his mother, but possible his only friend (other than my husband)?
I live in Ohio
posted 24th Mar
Quoting God:“ All anyone can say is "I think this is why they did it". None of us are the parents to say with 100% ... [snip!] ... motivation was.
Exactly, which is why we should not be attacking them. If all the parents cared about was their own comfort, they would have already put Ashley in an institution.
I live in Ohio
posted 24th Mar
Quoting LJH:“ ”
I can understand that.
But you're attacking people for holding an opinion. You don't have to like it, but they're entitled to hold it.
I honestly understand why this is such a hard topic for you, and you have my utmost respect for taking on such a challenge and not just dumping your kid in an institution, but other people who haven't been in your shoes aren't going to have your perspective, so it's not entirely fair I think to expect them to understand.
C.
I'm due March 19th, have 1 child & live in St. Catharines, Ontario
posted 24th Mar
Quoting God:“ I can understand that. But you're attacking people for holding an opinion.
Some opinions are false and damaging. It is an *opinion* for someone to say that African-American people are stupid - but it is a false opinion and a damaging opinion. Most people would come out in strong opposition to someone who would say such a thing.
For people to say such disparaging things about these parents who are already going through so much, it isn't right.I guess I don't think it should be that big of a stretch for people to try to put themselves in the shoes of these parents. Even before I had a my son,and I mean*years* before, I would see parents of disabled kids and I would feel nothing but empathy for them. I would think about how terrible it must be for them, and my heart would ache for them and their child. I'm not saying that life with my son is all terrible all the time, as he brings a lot of joy to my life and I love him immensely. But people saying things like disgusting, selfish, inhumane, mutilation, that they shouldn't be allowed to be her parents...that's kicking someone when they're down. That's attacking.
I live in Ohio
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