re: Official TTA (Trying to Adopt) Thread.

Quoting Bee's Mama:" I know its possible, and normally looked at before adopting to non relatives. You would need to contact ... [snip!] ... CPS doesnt mean she wont go back with her parents. Reunification by the parents is number 1, then they will look to relatives."

I understand that. What about temporarily instead of staying in foster care? How soon would they put the child back if there was obvious drug use in the home?

Quoting The Biscuit Farmer.:" I understand that. What about temporarily instead of staying in foster care? How soon would they put the child back if there was obvious drug use in the home?"

You will have to discuss that with social services, are yall in the same area? The time depends on how long the court gives them. Were taking our foster parent classes now, and I have heard 6months-5+years.

Quoting Bee's Mama:" You will have to discuss that with social services, are yall in the same area? The time depends on how ... [snip!] ... The time depends on how long the court gives them. Were taking our foster parent classes now, and I have heard 6months-5+years."

Same city, yes. How long have you been taking the class? What else do you have to have done? I just spoke to a cop about it, as well.

Quoting The Biscuit Farmer.:" Same city, yes. How long have you been taking the class? What else do you have to have done? I just spoke to a cop about it, as well."

We are on week 6 of 10, but I think in our county relatives dont have to take the classes, they just need background checks.

So how everyone else doing? We have 4 more classes for our foster care program. And lots of paper work. Our licensing worker said we most likely will be getting the little kids. Which I am super excited about. I was worried about older kids and my daughter.

Quoting Bee's Mama:" So how everyone else doing? We have 4 more classes for our foster care program. And lots of paper work. ... [snip!] ... we most likely will be getting the little kids. Which I am super excited about. I was worried about older kids and my daughter."

I was raised in foster care since I was 2. I still live on my last set of foster parents' land. lol They didn't adopt me though.. I didn't want to be adopted again cause it didn't work the first 2 times. Keep in mind it's harder on the kids that it will be on you though.. I was there, shut myself off for a while.. but now I'm not as closed up as I used to be, and I'm married with two kids.  

Ok so I need some advice please!!! My husband and I were approached yesterday by a friend of the family's. It's his mom's new husband's ex wife's neighbor's niece. haha! So as you can see not that close but they know people. Well this girl is 7 months pregnant, already went to an attorney and wanting to place her baby up for adoption. Sooo. She heard of us through the grape vine and we should hear from her or her attorney tomorrow. This could all go really fast.

My husband and I have no idea what to expect. We haven't started pursuing adoption yet but we have always said we would gladly adopt if God presented us with it. SOO we don't know a lot of the legal things to prepare for. Like I said she wants a private adoption with an attorney, and she is only asking for her utilities and food paid for until the baby is born.

How do you go about adopting a baby in these circumstances. Will it just be signing papers, or home studies, or what? We have NO idea what to expect. Please help!!!

TIA  

Quoting Corky{MHB}:" Ok so I need some advice please!!! My husband and I were approached yesterday by a friend of the family's. ... [snip!] ... circumstances. Will it just be signing papers, or home studies, or what? We have NO idea what to expect. Please help!!! TIA  "

Talk to a lawyer before you give her any money.

We adopted our daughter 4 years ago and are trying to adopt again. It's definetly stressful and costly, but worth more than anything in the world. We went through Angel Adoption out of Illinois & we are signed with them again. We had a good experience the first time, so hopefully a potential birthmother/birthfamily will find us & we can have another great experience.
We were asked by our social worker if we wanted to foster to adopt, which is sometimes quicker & less costly, but I myself couldn't handle it if we had a child in our home for a while & then he/she was placed back with their birth family. I think I would get too attached & it would just devastate me to see them go.
I just wanted to share a little, I'll be checking back soon! Good luck to everyone!!!

You don't have to foster first to adopt from foster care. There are kids right now who are available for permanent adoption where their parents have lost rights. Check out the Dave Thomas Foundation or go to Adopt US Kids. We are considering going this route in a few years. Good luck.

Hello ALL! My husband and I are TTA and we have been going through this for 6 mths now. We are TTA my beautiful 1 year old niece who has been the ward of the state for 6 months now. My sister has pretty much done nothing to try and get her back and is now MIA with her boyfriend he is a monster and was one of the reasons she got the baby taken away....long story.

So I am so frustrated. I have been in contact with the case worker and for the past 3 days I had called and left messages just to be ignored and not answered......what can I do, besides keep calling?

((This might seem like an out of place post.... But all you gals looking to adopt might know a bit more about this than someone trying to adopt out. Also, I just feel like ranting.))
I'm around 28 weeks along and seriously considering adopting my baby boy out to a loving family for several reasons other than being too young and not ready to raise a baby. However, my SO who just turned 18 in October thinks adoption is the worst thing I can do.
He has yet to get a job, or even apply for one since around the beginning of the month, and yet he thinks I'm just "Giving his kid away."
My mother, whom I’m currently living with because certain circumstances have yet to let me be able to live on my own, works graveyard in a town 55 miles away, has told him herself that she will not, and cannot take care of this child after I tried to. His answer to that was to either have his father, who can barely support himself and his own son, and who has a medical card for marijuana, and frequently has friends over who smoke A LOT of cigarettes, ((I have not problem with people who smoke weed or cigarettes, but when a baby is involved… Big NO-NO)) or have his 60 year old Grandma take it.
He also refuses to be on welfare or food stamps to be able to support the child and ourselves.
So it’s come down to me keeping quiet about the issue to not upset him, and talking it over with my mother. At first, she didn’t really understand it, and took my SO’s side. But after explaining it to her, she understands, and even shares my irritation.
I’m about ready to try and smack some sense into him, if my mother reading him the right act doesn’t work. Maybe he’ll listen to someone he’s actually mildly afraid of. xP

My frustration stems from the fact that I’m grown up enough to know that I’m not only not ready for a baby, but that I know there’s someone out there who can’t have kids of their own, and can provide and support better than My SO and I can, but he’s still cemented in the fact that he wants this child, but yet isn’t ready or willing to take any of the responsibilities that come with it. In fact, he’s openly admitted that he’s less responsible than I am.
I for one don’t think he’ll budge on the matter regardless of what my mother and I say or do…. So it’s come down to how we can get the baby adopted out…..

Quoting KikiMonster:" ((This might seem like an out of place post.... But all you gals looking to adopt might know a bit more ... [snip!] ... budge on the matter regardless of what my mother and I say or do…. So it’s come down to how we can get the baby adopted out….."

Have you talked to him about open adoption? That way he can still be part of his kids life if he chooses to. I would say just keep talking to him about it, and that you really think someone else can give the baby a better life, then yall can at that moment. I dont think you can force him to do it, and I wouldnt recommend doing it behind his back either. You just have to keep talking to him about it.

Kiki - you should talk to an adoption agency in your state so that you can understand the laws. I am sure they deal with this kind of situation all the time and every state has different laws. THIS IS IMPORTANT.

It also might be a good idea (if you can talk him into it) to at least talk to an agency. If he understands the process he might be more open to it.

Even though the guy sounds like he's not in the best place to keep a baby, it must feel like a personal failure for a man to be in his position. You still have time and so does he.

If you decide you want to keep the baby (or have to keep the baby) go to Pregnancy Helpline. Their main goal is to help women keep their babies. They can give you clothing, food etc. They can also help you find resources to help you.

Good luck and keep us posted. This is not as bad as it seems and you are an angel for not aborting that baby. You will not regret it.

Quoting Adoption is Awesome:" Kiki - you should talk to an adoption agency in your state so that you can understand the laws. I am ... [snip!] ... and keep us posted. This is not as bad as it seems and you are an angel for not aborting that baby. You will not regret it. "

I've never considered abortion as a solution to what many teens think is a simple problem. But thank you.

Also, thank you for the website, but the main problem with him is he refuses to accept help or to "rely" on an outside source to help support the baby. If he doesn't hesitate to say no to welfare or food stamps ((Heck, even welfare to help pay for the medical bills that I can't pay.)) he's most likely to say no to any other source of help.

My mother once put it like this "Well he can't just keep this kid so he can say to others 'Oh yeah, I have this baby, isn't he cute?' He needs to accept the other responsibilities. But right now he'd rather sit home and play his video games and go visit friends. What else is he doing to contribute? And going with you to your doctor appointments doesn't count."
He still hasn't quite grown up yet, and I don't believe having a child will change that. He wants the kid, but doesn't want any of the responsibilities, and still wants everything to be like it was before. As it is, I only see him once every two weeks when I have my doctor appointments.

And yes, I have talked to him about open adoption, but he's dead set on the fact that adoption period is evil, and that somehow, someway, our child will end up in an abusive home that won't take care of him.