re: Depression/Suicide Support Thread

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:</b>" I hope it works"</blockquote>



I hope so too! How are you doing?

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:</b>" I hope it works"</blockquote> I hope so too! How are you doing?"

Pretty good I guess. My SO is so supportive.. He tells me all the time to go out and do stuff, keep myself active, etc. I'm surprised he puts up with me sometimes  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:</b>" Pretty good I guess. My SO is so supportive.. He tells me all the time to go out and do stuff, keep myself active, etc. I'm surprised he puts up with me sometimes  "</blockquote>




That's so good! I'm happy for you

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:</b>" Pretty good I guess. My SO is ... [snip!] ... myself active, etc. I'm surprised he puts up with me sometimes  "</blockquote> That's so good! I'm happy for you"

Thanks. It's hard to just get up and go out and do something   We took DD to the park today and afterwards, I jogged a mile on the treadmill. Most outside/exercise that I've gotten in a while.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:</b>" Thanks. It's hard to just get up and go out and do something   We took DD to the park today and afterwards, I jogged a mile on the treadmill. Most outside/exercise that I've gotten in a while."</blockquote>




Yea I understand especially when you don't feel like it it's so hard.

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:</b>" Thanks. It's hard to just get ... [snip!] ... that I've gotten in a while."</blockquote> Yea I understand especially when you don't feel like it it's so hard."

I never, ever feel like doing anything. I'm surprised I went on the treadmill today. I have to push myself to lose weight though because if I lose weight I'll feel better about myself.. ugh it's so hard

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:</b>" I never, ever feel like doing anything. I'm surprised I went on the treadmill today. I have to push ... [snip!] ... today. I have to push myself to lose weight though because if I lose weight I'll feel better about myself.. ugh it's so hard"</blockquote>


I understand. I can't lose weight for the life of me. I still exercise 30'minutes a day

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:</b>" I never, ever feel like doing ... [snip!] ... ugh it's so hard"</blockquote> I understand. I can't lose weight for the life of me. I still exercise 30'minutes a day"

I diet/exercise for a couple days then give up  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:</b>" I diet/exercise for a couple days then give up  "</blockquote>




  it's hard

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:</b>" I diet/exercise for a couple days then give up  "</blockquote>   it's hard"

I just want to be a normal, functioning person. I feel like I'm just existing, not even living. I wish I could just change with the snap of my fingers like everyone seems to expect me to  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:</b>" I just want to be a normal, functioning person. I feel like I'm just existing, not even living. I wish I could just change with the snap of my fingers like everyone seems to expect me to  "</blockquote>



I understand I feel that way often.

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:</b>" I just want to be a normal, functioning ... [snip!] ... with the snap of my fingers like everyone seems to expect me to  "</blockquote> I understand I feel that way often."

 

I had a hard day today. With it being her angelversary. I sucked it up and went to the cemetery. Even though I had a panic attack. It's been snowing and it's very slick. This Christmas and Holiday has been quite anxiety producing. I don't have an appointment with my therapist until Jan 7. She took these two weeks off.

I'm going through some things I can't explain very well.

Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:" I just want to be a normal, functioning person. I feel like I'm just existing, not even living. I wish I could just change with the snap of my fingers like everyone seems to expect me to  "

you took the words right out of my mouth.

I'm so depressed. How could I possibly seem to miss my EX and I being together when he treated me like smurf. Abused me in all way types possibly and the smurf that's coming out that he possibly did to DD. it makes me sick that I feel I miss him. It's not so much him but the way we were when we had our good days which was far few and in between. I found someone that I'm happy with but some aspects of our relationship reminds me of my ex and I. I hate this. How do I stop this. I've been so emotional lately. I've been yelling at SO because I get so mad and he gets it taken out on him. My ex and I were together for almost 4 yrs an married almost 3 yrs. we just decided to split a couple months ago and I was so happy. We do have two kids together so maybe that's why. He was my longest relationship let alone the only person I've been married to. We're not legally divorced yet but working on it. I needed to leave that relationship and I knew that but yet now I wonder what it would be like to be with him if we had stayed together. My mind is making no sense to me anymore. Is this even normal? I love SO a lot and I truly mean it when I say j love him and I didn't truly love my ex. Not like I love my SO now. Ugh. My mind is so jumbled and now I feel stupid and guilty for saying I miss my ex at times. Well te good times we had. Ugh. I'm so damned depressed. I'm my on my medication anymore and haven't been for months an maybe now it's catching up with me. I have no idea. I just needed to vent.