marriage our way.. or not?

My bf and i want to get married. he hasn't officially proposed yet bc he doesn't have a ring right now and feels that he needs to have one to propose, but we both really do want to get married. We've been together for 5 years already and this is our second child. Heres the problem... me and him want to just get married in court. One, we can't afford a wedding on our own. Two, on my side.. we don't have a lot of family (4 ppl) while his side has 20+ ppl. Three, we don't have alot of friends to invite either. We just feel that theres no point in having a wedding since its not going to be that big. My main reason for not wanting to go thru the whole thing the right way is his mom! the witch won't let me do anything my way. We can't even choose our own wedding date or place or dress.. or anything. Total control freak!
Anyways.. so we want to get married, but i think he's hesitating bc the ring and his mom! what should i do?

you could always get married by the court, and then later have a ceremony and renew your vows.

Quoting Kristin.[LurkerB]:“ you could always get married by the court, and then later have a ceremony and renew your vows.”

thats what we thought was best.

I'd talkhim. Ask him what he truly wants and if he's waiting cause of the ring then I'd wait.

Well there is really nothing you can do about his mom. Actually when you marry him you are marrying her as well. Sad fact, but true. As far as the ring try a pawn shop for a low budget ring or just by a ring even if it the diamond is not real. Thengo to the court house and get married. Later you guys can do it up and he can give you a real ring that you both picked out together. Or he can just surprise you. Tell him it is all right that he can' t give you want you want right now but you know he will later. All that matter right now is your love for each other. Or just wait and save your money like crazy.

I say go buy some cheap bands..(steel bands are cheap and pretty)...go apply for a marriage license then grab your best friends and head for the nearest JP. Once its over and done no one can make you go thru a big shindig if you don't want to.  
Tell your bf he can buy a pretty ring later if he wants to.

Quoting Camille'snumber3:“ I say go buy some cheap bands..(steel bands are cheap and pretty)...go apply for a marriage license then ... [snip!] ... no one can make you go thru a big shindig if you don't want to.   Tell your bf he can buy a pretty ring later if he wants to.”

The ring isn't a big deal to me. I told him i didn't need a nice ring and that i'll just wear one that i have. haha and i was thinking about just me and him and close friends going and getting married.. but i know that his mom will give us hell when she found out!

Quoting J♥MIE:“ The ring isn't a big deal to me. I told him i didn't need a nice ring and that i'll just wear one that ... [snip!] ... just me and him and close friends going and getting married.. but i know that his mom will give us hell when she found out!”

Leaving his mom out is not a good idea.

You can actually get some really nice Cubic Zarconia wedding sets at Claire's for like $20. No one will know they're not real   I think my hubby's white gold band was like $60...


You can get married without rings as well. So just go get married if that's what you guys really want to do. Or better yet look up wedding chaples near you and "elope". That's what we did, I think our whole wedding in Tahoe was like $150 for marriage liscence and fees and stuff. When we got back we caught some hell for it, but after the drama died down our families realized it wasn't that big a deal that we did our wedding our way.

Quoting Kristin.[LurkerB]:“ you could always get married by the court, and then later have a ceremony and renew your vows.”

my sister is getting married on march 3rd at the court house with a few family members as witnesses and having her reception on the 8th (same day as my baby shower  , luckily hers is a lunch and minesat tea time lol)

My wedding actually took place in a courthouse too, and to be honest I loved it. We didn't have enough money to pay for a big ceremony so we figured why spend so much money when we can save it for a house and to be honest I never had a dream wedding so the whole process of buying a dress...color schemes...who sits where and eats what lol was just silly, yes my family members were a little upset that we didn't have a ceremony (I come from a big cathoilc family) but when the day finally came they all showed up in that small little room to see us exchange vows.

Just outside of the couthouse there was a huge garden and fountain so we were able to take very nice pictures afterwards.

RAnt!

Sorry but really it is up to you two, wicked mother in law will have to deal with it. Its about you two not her or anyone else. You can always renew your vows in the future when you're more settled down.

My fiance and I are just going to have a little tiny wedding with immediate family and friends up in niagara falls, then if we decide we want a big fancy wedding at some later point, we'll just do a vow renewal and reception type thing later... his mom isnt happy about it, but she's still invited (cuz i dont wanna piss her off any more than she already is), and if she chooses not to come, then she chooses not to come. no skin off my back.

I think everyone should have the wedding they want. if you wanna do it in the courthouse, go ahead. if his mom cant respect that and be happy for you, thats her problem, no yours.