VENT-Hubby not supportive. At all.

I have some MAJOR issues with my husband. We've been together 8 years, have a 2.5 yr old daughter, Maya, and expect our 2nd baby Emily Claire on May 3.

When I was preggo with Maya, he worked close by, so I made him go to the OB appts, but other than going to the 20 week U/S, he really was impossible to get involved in the pregnancy.

I don't 100% know if this is why, but his ex-wife had a lot of miscarriages & they lost a daughter at 20 weeks gestation. His other two kids with her were both early, one at 6 months & the other at 8 months. Both lived, but his son, the 2nd born, has cerebral palsy. They are 9 & 10 years old.

This time around, he works 2.5 hrs away, so I got to every appt by myself w/DD in tow. He went to the 20 wk US, but was on his damn blackberry like 80% of the time. GRRRR. He's only felt my belly like 1 or 2x, by accident. AND...sorry if TMI...but he has a very high libido (I don't) & he wants it all the time. He doesn't even give me a kiss goodbye in the am (5:00) or a hug or kiss hello when he gets home. I'm lucky if I get ANY affection outside the bedroom. Lately, he's been very pissy & asks me things in a nasty tone, so of course I get pissy right back. Like "What's wrong with YOU?" instead of "Are you ok?" if I groan when getting up or have a funny look on my face (preggo pains). I'm so sick of it. When I was preggo w/Maya, things got SO bad he almost left.

He says that he'll have plenty of time to bond w/baby when she's born. BUT, he doesn't get that I NEED his emotional support, not just his bitching about how much this 2nd kid is going to cost, or about his long commute to work. I need hugs & kind words, but I don't get them. We just co-exist 90% of the time. It blows. I know he'll be more supportive when Emily is born, but with the hormones & discomfort every day, plus trying to potty train a toddler who likes to smear poop everywhere when she's supposed to be napping...I'm exhausted.

I had a highly medicated birth last time & don't want to repeat it. I would like to take childbirth classes, but I know hubby won't make or have time to go with me. I don't have any friends or family close by that have the time to go either. I've told him how I feel about this, but he just says-you didn't need classes last time...WTF?!?!?!?! My midwife says that I can get alot of info on the internet, and that they will support me in Labor & delivery, but my freaking husband should do it, right??????

Sorry, thanks for letting me vent.

My ex husband was never supportive or seemed like he cared much. I took my mother to Lamaze with me! We had a great time!

I sometimes think its just not as much of a big deal to some men. I'm sorry that he isnt giving you want you want or need emotionally....but hang in there! Making him do it will only make him resentful  

I am sorry your Dh is not supportive. I would copy what you typed into a word document & print it out for him to read. It sounds to me like you are having communication problems. In order to bridge the gap, ask him to set some time aside to talk to him. When this occurs, tell him how you feel. He needs to know.