The Healing Process

Has anyone ever been sexually abused (raped, molested, etc) and is completely paranoid by it happening to your future children? My mind goes insane when I think about it and I completely black out and cry for hours!!!!   It might just be me but I cant picture letting my hubby bathe my daughter or vice versa (me bathe my son!)... I feel like I'm doing something bad :-\ Is this weird or does someone else feel like me?  

i was molested as a little kid and i am always afraid that when the guy gets out of jail he is going to come back and do the same to my future kids. as for the whole bathing thing, im not really worried about it because it would be my own child and i wouldnt look at them in a way like that.

i was raped and im always worried something will happen to my son by some a**hole and i would have to go and track them down but as for the bathing im fine its my son and i know i wont do anything bad to him

For some reason it just completely bothers me! I really dont think this is normal but it's something I've always thought about. That's why I shy away from kids because my head starts spinning and then I start thinking if their being molested...every single one of them!   It's driving me crazy!

Yeah i was down that road. And im VERY paranoid about it. If someone ever touches my daughter in a bad way im shoving a knife up their butt whole... but I have to admitt, I have gotten over it alitte, and im not as paranoid like when i was pregnant. I figured it wasnt too healthy for me

i was raped twice.
Once when I was 5, by my brother's father, and then again when I was 16 by a guy that I thought was my friend.

It used to bother me alot...but now I am over it. You shouldn't let the past control your future no matter how hard or painful it is,just take it as a learning experience. Let the past have a part in your life, not control.
I still have night mares about my brother's dad, but as far as the second instance, I rarely think about it.

ive been raped a couple times.. I was molested when I was in kindergarden and the same man raped me later on in life... Im soo paranoid about it.. sometimes i feel like i cant even trust my hubby.. bath time is bath time for my kids but i always supervise.. i dunno for me i cant trust anyone else.. but my mother and father... i could leave my kids with them and be worry free.. but i understand where your coming from.. it lurks in my mind everyday.. all the what ifs its part of the reason I dont really want to work.. i want to be here to protect my children from things like that 

I have a history of sexual abuse with family members and even in school :'( I told my boyfriend I'd kill him if he touched our baby and he was just so hurt because I know he would never do that. But I recall being told by someone very close to me that I shouldn't even trust him because you never know what they could do, even after he knew what happened to me!!!! That's one of the reasons I'm waiting because I seriously dont think I'm ever going to get over it....

I was molested by my own father and by two other guys when I was between the ages of 2-6. It happened for 4 years. I am very afraid that someone I love is going to do it to my daughter and she isnt even here yet. I am afraid that my boyfriend is going to do it because my dad did it to me. It is very hard for me to trust any man. I freak out everytime. Some days I wish that my father and those other guys would have never done this to me but I cant change what happened and I dont think that I am going to really ever trust men. My mom hasnt been molested or raped but because of what my dad did it is hard for her to trust men now. She still sometimes worries about my stepdad with my sisters.

  Must be so hard to not think about it huh. I was raped from age 6 til I was 10 every Thursday-Sunday   And molested by...well people. I'm trying to get the necessary help but my moods just change too often..... its so frustrating.

Quoting MRSH0LLYWO0D:“   Must be so hard to not think about it huh. I was raped from age 6 til I was 10 every Thursday-Sunday ... [snip!] ... And molested by...well people. I'm trying to get the necessary help but my moods just change too often..... its so frustrating.”

It is hard to stop thinking about it, but what helped me get over it a little was thinking this. I already went through that, and I didnt have anyone to tell, and when I finally had the courage to tell an adult, they didnt believe me. So I know what it feels like, If I would have had some one to tell what was going on from the very begining, before anything happened I probably wouldnt have gone through what I did... So I can teach my daughter to come to me and tell me ANYTHING, that way things will be prevented. Im not going to just blurt it out one day when shes like 2 or 3, but I mean tell her according to her age and what she understands. Once she is old enough to understand well then I will explain things to her, and let her know that she has me to go to to help keep her safe. I know I cant protect her 100% but I can do as much as I can to help.

Quoting MRSH0LLYWO0D:“   Must be so hard to not think about it huh. I was raped from age 6 til I was 10 every Thursday-Sunday ... [snip!] ... And molested by...well people. I'm trying to get the necessary help but my moods just change too often..... its so frustrating.”

I can't even imagine how frustrating and overwhelming this is for you. I would try to get your moods under control before you explore these issues any further. That way you are better able to handle all the new emotions that will be brought up, especially if you're bipolar.

I feelthe same way I was abused by my mums ex - boyfriend, she still doesn't know whjat he did to me, but i'm really paranoid that someone is going to hurt my child. Also I'm seriously cojnsdiering whether I want to find my dad now, because he raped my mum and apparently threeatened to hurt me as well if he saw me, I'm not worried about me but I'm worried that he would try and hurt my child. I don't know it's a real iffy area for me, that's why I've asked my boyfriend to do bath times together.

It worries and scares the sanity out of me at times. I'm 25 and still dealing with questions that will probably never be answered. When I started dating my husband, I straight up told him if he ever hurt my children, I would kill him in the most painful and brutal way. Poor guy, I think I really scared him.

I think having been abused makes me more aware of the possibilities. Sometimes I have to run my thoughts passed my husband and ask him if he thinks it's possible or if I'm reading into things. (We had a neighbor that we both suspected of inflicting abuse on his daughter...we were right).

I think the most important thing for us survivors to do with our children is to teach them what we weren't taught and be open with them.

Unfortunately, those are my first memories. It was every babysitter (3) until I turned 9. I know how difficult it is to overcome the issues you have to face now that you have someone other than yourself to think of. You have to turn it into a healthy fear though, if that makes sense. Every mother is worried about her child/ren. You have an extra load to carry, thinking that someone will harm your baby in that one particular way. Have you been able to try to find counseling? Some cities offer free counseling, or if the man that did this to you was prosecuted, look into seeing if he is responsible for paying any costs associated with therapy...anything relating to your mental health and healing. I didn't even know that was the case in my situation until years later when I checked just to see if one of them had screwed up on probation and made their way back to prison. This would help with your relationsship as well. You have to take your husband/boyfriends feelings into consideration at all times, as hopefully he does with you trying to help you through it. You don't want to push him away, especially if he's a great dad to your child. He'll end up hurt and resentful and the last thing you need is another man hurting you. The thought of something happening to my children does scare me. I'm a little anal when it comes to being out at a park or something with them. I need to always know where they are. Even with family, I'll check on them often. I don't even care if they're in a room full of other children. You just don't know what kids are up to these days. I know, cause it was bad when I was there age...and that's young! My husband is understanding and I've been lucky enough to be able to stay home with them when I need/ want to. I was a SAHM until my son was 4 and even then I only applied at learning center so that they could still be by me. Now I'm home again, awaiting our newest little one. I'll be home until I'm confident enough to go back to work and feel comfortable leaving her with someone. That may not be until she starts school. Who knows. I do know that what happened to yourself, myself, and all these other women, has only made us stronger and has given us the opportunity to grow and become everything our children need to be able to face challenges and overcome obstacles that they'll face....God forbid it's anything like our own past, but we have the advantage in teaching them about being strong women and men.