re: Question? possibly touchy....

You lost a baby, whether you actually held it or not, it isa loss to you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. Sounds like this person still has a lot of greiving to do. Your baby is definetly an Angel Baby.

I dont think shes a nut I think shes grieving just like you.
You did the right thing by being understanding and kind. Her outburst came 100% from her emotions and loss also.

I also dont think you should write her off as a friend. Friendship grows stronger with each struggle.

Im sorry for your loss and hers. When I lost my baby girl a week before her due date the first thing I did was thank God it was a baby we didnt know yet and not one of my boys. Im sure it is harder for mothers who have had their babies and held them and and seen life in them than for those of us who never even got to see our babies alive. I know I would be more devistated to lose one of my boys.

I don't think you should have apologized at all.... In fact call her back and say you know what I've thought about it, and your wrong. My baby is an angel and you losing your baby didn't hurt anymore than me losing mine. Then tell her you don't want to be friends with someone who trys to control your emotions, which is exactly what she is trying to do.

"Angel" is the correct word for a baby lost.. No matter how early.. You are not wrong sweetheart..

Now I've never been pregnant. But I believe as soon as you find out you are pregnant, that's a baby. My boyfriend's sister lost her child while she was 11 weeks along. We will always call Jaiden a baby. He's my lil Angel Bean and her Angel Baby. My About Me even has a ticker for him and it says that he was my nephew and he was born sleeping even though he wasn't fully grown and only 9 weeks developed. Miscarriage or SIDS or just an accidental death of an infant is still a loss and for those that lost the child, they are still an ANGEL BABY!! Or as a lady on here put on here as a story, a SPIRIT BABY!

Quoting Littlegoldwoman:“ I dont think shes a nut I think shes grieving just like you. You did the right thing by being understanding ... [snip!] ... them than for those of us who never even got to see our babies alive. I know I would be more devistated to lose one of my boys.”

I think if she lashed out at her out of anger, she has had plenty of time to calm down and reflect on it and should have apologized by now. I don't feel the OP should have had to get her feelings hurt over it, she's not to blame for the friends loss. I have lost a child that I saw, touched, talked to...I couldn't imagine losing my cool on another mother who had experienced the same or anyone else for that matter.

Quoting Calliesmommy27:“ Hi everyone, I have a question /issue that I am seeking some support on. I suffered a miscarriage on ... [snip!] ... for it. I don't really know what I am looking for I was am just so hurt and confused right now........thanks for listening.”

I had a sonogram at 5 weeks with my son and we were able to see his heartbeat sothere is a good chance yours had one that early too... all babys are angels no matter how long they are with us even if only in our bellies!!!!  

Sorry - bit of a long post here but ive been in this situation! I too think she was wrong to say what she did, and i agree with everyone elses posts. I think she wrote that in her own pain, maybe she felt like you weren't 'qualified' to speak of your embryo like she speaks of losing her child. Whilst you had dreams you had imagined ofhaving ababy in the future, she had actually witnessed and experienced those dreams, gone through a pregnancy, love and bondingwith her living child. When we are grieving ourselves our judgement and perspective is clouded by our own pain. Loss is loss no matter what stage, but im glad you responded to her kindly as she didnt mean it to spite you im sure.

I can understand her point of view tho,my son was stillbornand i lost my 2nd at 4 months, i also lost my sons twin sister a few months ago. I must say, i cannot even begin to comparelosing mybabiesto when i had an early m/c. The early m/c was major disappointment, but when i lost my kids i just wanted to die myself, the pain is unbearable.Not long after i lost my soni had a friend who said she 'understood' because she had just suffered a m/c at 6 weeks, and i have to admit, i was very angry at her for her comment. I felt it was so cruel and insensitive of her to compare herminiscule embryo to my children, it felt like she was making some kind of sick joke over my children.

Try not to be angry at her, that is the last thing you need right now! Altho im sure if you took a minute to imagine going through a pregnancy, delivery,night feeds, comforting and b/f your babyetconly to losethat child with no explanation or closure, you would be able to see why she said what she did as this is a whole other level than an early m/c.However, you were not comparing your loss to hers, and in no way should she have said that to you. I hope there is no anger or resentment between you now as you both need love and comfort to heal. She probably isnt coping very well because she has her remaining twin there to remind her of the loss every single day, i certainly know how hard that is as im living in that situation right now. Im really sorry for your loss, i hope you are doing ok and that time is helping you heal xx

I would consider a miscarraige an angel baby... I have 2 little angels up in heaven and a healthy baby on the way. Just because we didn't get to meet them doesn't mean they aren't babies..

Quoting Calliesmommy27:“ Hi everyone, I have a question /issue that I am seeking some support on. I suffered a miscarriage on ... [snip!] ... for it. I don't really know what I am looking for I was am just so hurt and confused right now........thanks for listening.”

im mostly just saying this for what she said about the heartbeat. babies get their heartbeat anywhere from 15-18 days after conception... so your baby did have a heartbeat.

now, im with you completely. i believe that as soon as the baby is concieved it is a baby. not an "embryo" not a "clump of cells" not a "fetus" a living being that for all we know could be a president or the one to maybe find a cure for aids or something spectacular. im sorry she acted this way and i believe that your baby is playing with mind and having a great time in heaven. they were just in to much of a hurry. they both know their mommies loved them. though mine wasnt a miscarraige, but my son died of SIDS at 2 months old.

keep your chin up, and believe me, she isnt worth your time if thats what she is gonna say instead of support you. i know its hard losing a baby. no matter how old the loss is still big.

You have every right to call your baby an angel because thats what they are. I have lost 3 babies to miscarriage and the only comfort I have is knowing that they are little angel babies in heaven looking down on us and protecting us.

I lost my CHILD at 7.5 weeks - We loved that child from the moment we knew there was life inside me. We did, however, have the awesome privilege of seeing our child's heart beating before it was lost, which, in some ways, makes it so much harder, but I wouldn't change that for the world.

Momma -- keep you chin up, your child is safe, knew no pain, fear or worry - only your love. Your CHILD will always be in your heart *hugs*