Depression and Pregnancy. Relationship Problems.

I am 4 months pregnant. Lately things with the father have been terrible. Fighting, aruguing, yelling, crying everyday. Im just so down. Iv'e got these images in my head about how I want the pregnancy to go, and how I want the baby to be reaised and how he is living now does not contribute to any of my thoughts or feelings. MAy be TMI but his paychecks go twards beer and pot, and he is thinking nothing about the baby, or my feelings ethier. On top of that he's alwyas got his friends over. Every single day. It gets so old, and he dosnt see why I bitch and complain about it. I would beok with the occasional drink and buddy time, but it just seems to me when you've got a child on the way that would be the last thing to worry about.I know its easier said than done to just leave the one you love. I just want to try for the best and make things better. I want nothing more than to raise my child with the babys father. I just dont know how I would deal with the pain of doing anything otherwise. This depression has caused me to take myself out of the social scene, im very distant from others, im quick to snap at someone, and I just feel as if im loosing it all. I know the pregnancy is being affected, it has to be. I just want some advice as to what to do to stop worrying about my current situation and how to help myself feel happy when everything feels as though its crashing down. I just want things to be RIGHT.

I am not trying to be rude but this post really does not belong here. This is for women who have lost their children. It is upsetting to see posts that are about being pregnant.

Personally, I would give him an ultimatum today...
First of all, he should not be smoking pot/anything anywhere NEAR you and his child. Tell him that either he gets his shit together or you are gone and will retain full custody of the child because he's clearly an unfit parent.

I know it is hard to leave the one you love, especially when he is the father of your baby, but to be perfectly honest, it's not about you anymore.
If you can't do what's best for your baby, than you are putting them in danger already. When the baby is born, will you let him hold the baby knowing he is stoned and drunk?

Your baby deserves the best life possible, and if that means living only with their responsible Mom then that's not so bad...

It is normal to be stressed out while you are pregnant... You need to remember that your hormones are quite out of control as well... Just make sure that you are taking care of yoruself and your baby, that alone will make you feel better...

I'm sending you lots of hugs,
- Jess

I agree...the post would probably be better suited in somewhere like free for all.
About your actual post though, you need to sit him down face to face and tell him exactly how you feel. Be totally straight forward with him and let him know how his actions are affecting both you and your pregnancy. If he doesnt listen then you may have to consider more drastic measures. Some men just need to be told straight up exactly whats wrong and exactly what they need to do to fix it IMO.

Quoting MommyInTheMaking:“ Personally, I would give him an ultimatum today... First of all, he should not be smoking pot/anything ... [snip!] ... you are taking care of yoruself and your baby, that alone will make you feel better... I'm sending you lots of hugs, - Jess”

I totally agree with you. It takes 2 people to make a relationship work and looks like you are the only one putting effort. I think you and the baby are better off without him. If he decides you and his baby are important enough for him to change then good. But so far he has basically showed you that you 2 ARE NOT his priorities. Sorry, I know the truth hurts sometimes but it's good to get advice from the outside.

Quoting Jenell:“ I am not trying to be rude but this post really does not belong here. This is for women who have lost their children. It is upsetting to see posts that are about being pregnant.”

I see she is fairly new and has not posted more than a couple of times. She may have felt like she is suffering the loss of a relationship therefor chose to post in this section. But I totallyunderstand where you are coming from.

Quoting Ryan's mom & preg.:“ I see she is fairly new and has not posted more than a couple of times. She may have felt like she ... [snip!] ... suffering the loss of a relationship therefor chose to post in this section. But I totallyunderstand where you are coming from.”

I know...that's why I mentioned it  

Quoting Jenell:“ I know...that's why I mentioned it  ”

Sorry for you loss  i read your profile, I too suffered the loss of a son. He was 3 weeks old.

Quoting Ryan's mom & preg.:“ Sorry for you loss  i read your profile, I too suffered the loss of a son. He was 3 weeks old.”

I am sorry for your loss too  

Quoting Jenell:“ I am sorry for your loss too  ”

Thanks, and I love the tatoos!!

Quoting Ryan's mom & preg.:“ Thanks, and I love the tatoos!!”

thank you!