re: why do you see many girls smoking while pregnant ?

Quoting Deserttats:“ oh yeah, in general, but I also hate to read women jumping, scratching, and clawing on this site, when ... [snip!] ... when I am less judgmental of others, I take it easier on myself. Which is great because I am SO judgmental and hard on myself!!”

I figures that you were just talking in general.
As for your friends trying to quit...I am little sympathy. They choose to do it and no one ever said that quitting is easy. It is called quitting for a reason. It is really only bad for the first week and then gets so much easier. It is a physical thing for about 48 hours...then the rest is all mental!

Quoting nvoytek:“ I still get cravings too...but I know that they'll pass...like you said, its a lifetime thing. You ... [snip!] ... whatever else there is, will you just shrug and say "I dont understand, so she must be doing whats right for her." C'mon.....”

I think it comes down to having compassion and realizing that although we may not accept the behavior of others, we can accept the fact that they are human and have different struggles and temptations than ourselves. We are all human and we all have our own bumps in the road.

Quoting crystalina0814:“ I think it comes down to having compassion and realizing that although we may not accept the behavior ... [snip!] ... human and have different struggles and temptations than ourselves. We are all human and we all have our own bumps in the road.”

We sure do, but the difference is that I won't allow my temptations to harm my child.

Quoting crystalina0814:“ I think it comes down to having compassion and realizing that although we may not accept the behavior ... [snip!] ... human and have different struggles and temptations than ourselves. We are all human and we all have our own bumps in the road.”

agreed...but when it involves the health of an innocent child...yea, I cant just sigh and say "Oh well...." its selfish. Now, if they want to smoke when they arent pregnant and kill themselves, they can have at it, I wont say a word because then its only THEIR body they're destroying (unless they're smoking around other people, then the second hand smoke is affecting us too). Like I've told my mother, if you dont want to quit, then dont....but when you start dying from it, I have no sympathy. Theres countless cases out there of people who smoke and then get cancer and want sympathy from friends and family. Well, if you cut yourself over and over again..more then likely you're going to bleed, right? Its common knowledge of all the ill affects that cigarettes cause. I have no sympathies for the people who get cancer from smoking because smoking is a choice, it is not an necessity. And I can say that because I DO understand it. I used to smoke. The countless times I tried quitting and couldnt was because I didnt really want to quit. I kept making excuses as to why one more cigarette would be okay. Thats what these girls are doing...making excuses. In their head it either has to be acceptable or not...and if they're still smoking, then they think its acceptable.

I dont mean to be all snotty like, but you're defending the harm to unborn children....THATS what I dont understand!

Quoting nvoytek:“ agreed...but when it involves the health of an innocent child...yea, I cant just sigh and say "Oh well...." ... [snip!] ... excuses. In their head it either has to be acceptable or not...and if they're still smoking, then they think its acceptable.”

I couldn't have said it better myself!! The only thing I will add is that my mom smokes and I told her number 1. not at all around my baby and number 2. she will have a grandchild now. does she want to miss out on his life because she finds out she has cancer? As for people smoking...go ahead I could care less. It is your body. but not pregnant women...selfish selfish. otherwise you could argue that pregnant women who can't quit drinking or smoking weed is okay because it is an internal stuggle. i don't buy it.

I am in no way saying it is okay or acceptable to do anything while you are pregnant that will hurt your baby, or live in a way afterwards that will hurt your baby. My only point is that if I want to be helpful to someone else, the best approach is to try to be empathetic. When I am so quick to be mean spirited or judgemental or harsh, whoever it is I am trying to influence or help just shuts down and has no interest. And I end up feeling mean and ugly, and they end up even more closed off from yet one more person that maybe could have helped them change or give support...i

Quoting nvoytek:“ I dont mean to be all snotty like, but you're defending the harm to unborn children....THATS what I dont understand!”

I am by far not defending the harm to uborn babies...I am just saying that we don't always understand what someone is going through--I did say that the behavior was not accepted-the person should be though.

I completely agree that smoking is selfish...but becoming judgemental and worked up about it won't change the fact that the person smoking is obviously having issues to be smoking while pregnant in the first place---

Quoting inluvwitmylittleone:“ I couldn't have said it better myself!! The only thing I will add is that my mom smokes and I told her ... [snip!] ... argue that pregnant women who can't quit drinking or smoking weed is okay because it is an internal stuggle. i don't buy it.”

i told my mom the same thing about the grandkids. She says "They wont miss me." And so I said "Why dont you ask them that?" She became speechless. There is no good excuse to smoke. I look back on when I smoked and I feel like an idiot for ever starting.

Quoting crystalina0814:“ I am by far not defending the harm to uborn babies...I am just saying that we don't always understand ... [snip!] ... it won't change the fact that the person smoking is obviously having issues to be smoking while pregnant in the first place---”

I don't think it is judgemental at all when I have been there. Now if I was never a smoker....then I don't really have a right to my opinion.

one of my favorite quotes:

"Whether you think you can,or you can't...either way, youre absolutely right."

As soon as they think they cant, they've already failed. An addict is its own worst enemy.
Just like the reason I know I'm overweight is because I dont feel like working towards losing the weight. Its not that I cant, its that I wont. I dont blame anyone else for that, but I'm alright with it and so I live with it. I look in the mirror every now and again just like a smoker and I'mbecomeashamed or disgusted for a moment...but its not so much shame or disgust to where I change my ways.They dont quit because they really dont think its that bad. "Tomorrow I'll change...." ...tomorrow never comes.

Quoting inluvwitmylittleone:“ I don't think it is judgemental at all when I have been there. Now if I was never a smoker....then I don't really have a right to my opinion.”

You always have a right to an opinion! And I share the same opinion as you--just with more compassion and empathy. I only say this because it was extrememly difficult for me to quit and i love my children more than anything so I did-but I do understand the struggle. It took my quite a few attepts.

Quoting Sexy Mamma:“ Well I know its stupid but I smoked during my entire pregnancy but I wanted to quit the whole time, even ... [snip!] ... you give me some tips for quitting better late than never I know im stupid and you all must hate me but please help me any way.”

Youve reached the first step which is wanting to change...the next and final step is the hardest. Actually changing. If you think you can do it, then you're halfway there. Keep your chin up and you'll make it.  

Quoting Sexy Mamma:“ Well I know its stupid but I smoked during my entire pregnancy but I wanted to quit the whole time, even ... [snip!] ... you give me some tips for quitting better late than never I know im stupid and you all must hate me but please help me any way.”

It took me- throwing away every last cig in the house-having my hubby hide the car keys from me so I couldn't go get any more-and a lot of screaming, straw chewing and gum chewing to even get past the first few days. After that it was just not being anywhere that I would have normally smoked.