Signs you're being emotionally abused

http://www.lilaclane.com/relationships/emotional-abuse/

Take a moment to consider these questions. Your partner might have behaved as though these things were okay, even though it's obvious that they aren't okay...:

Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you?
Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?
Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself?
Does your partner isolate you from friends, family or groups?
Does your partner limit your access to work, money or material resources?
Has your partner ever stolen from you? Or run up debts for you to handle?
Does your relationship swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance and being very close?
Have you ever felt obligated to have sex, just to avoid an argument about it?
Do you sometimes feel trapped in the relationship?
Has your partner ever thrown away your belongings, destroyed objects or threatened pets?
Are you afraid of your partner?

http://eqi.org/eabuse1.htm

Characteristics of Emotionally Abused People

• Can only guess at what healthy behavior is.
• Have trouble completing things
• Lie when they don't need to. Lying might have been a survival tactic in the home. (She explains that perhaps the child learned from parents who lied to cover up problems or avoid conflict. Or simply to avoid harsh punishment, or to get needed attention. But as an adult, that tactic is no longer appropriate.)
• Judge themselves without mercy.
• Have trouble accepting compliments.
• Often take responsibility for problems, but not successes.
• Or they go to the other extreme and refuse to take any responsibility for mistakes while trying to take credit for the work of others.
• Have trouble having fun since their childhoods were lost, stolen, repressed.
• Take themselves very seriously or not seriously at all.
• Have difficulty with intimate relationships.
• Expect others to just "know what they want." (They can't express it because they were so often disappointed as children that they learned to stop asking for things.)
• Over-react to things beyond their control.
• Constantly seek approval & affirmation.
• Feel different from others.
• Are extremely loyal, even when facing overwhelming evidence that their loyalty is undeserved.
• Are either super responsible or super irresponsible.
• Tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. (This impulsiveness leads to confusion, self-loathing, and loss of control over their environment. The result is they spend much energy blaming others, feeling victimized and cleaning up messes.)

C.

 

hmm...

Thats interesting

very interesting...im so thankful i have non of those problems with my husbee

good to know...

Yes, I'm glad I don't as well. Though after having been in one emotionally abusive relationship in my past, I now know what to look for, and wouldn't have chosen a partner who was.

I think a lot of women on this website need to read this.

Ultimately, it's up to an individual to determine whether or not they're in a relationship that is happy and healthy for them (and their children), but from what I constantly read from people about the behaviors of their spouses, some women here are either exaggerating or they're being abused, and I don't see why anyone would feel the need to exaggerate the behavior of their spouse.

I hope everyone who reads this takes a serious look at themselves and their relationships, to see if they're really truly happy and in a healthy place. I know there are a lot of women who are abused, and either don't realize it, or do but don't know how/want to do anything about it.

C.

I don't have this problem, however, I really appreciate you posting this. I know that there are more women out there than we think that are dealing with emotional abuse. My mom did for many years and still has issues herself to this day because of it.

My ex abused me emotionally and mentally for years, and even though I had good friends of his telling me he was doing it to me, it still didn't hit me until a year after we broke up and I realized what a number he did on me.
You can pretty much slap someone silly with the signs, and they'll still see through it like it doesn't exist, because after all, the guy "really loves them."

Very interesting.

C, this was good of you to post. Sadly, I think many of the women that are being abused are in denial, and probably won't even see it with this.   But hopefully it will reach one woman, and save her. Kudos.

Thanks, I hope so too.

Women put up with so much shit they shouldn't have to. Women have made a lot of strides, and have it a lot better than they used to, but we're still second class citizens in so many ways, and that's just in North America.

I shudder to think of the fate of women in less socially-evolved countries.

C.

interesting to say the least.

Just curious why you felt the need to post this?

Why?

Because I'm concerned that women on gaga are being abused by their spouses.

C.

Quoting Christina&Kaden:“ interesting to say the least. Just curious why you felt the need to post this?”

There are a lot of posts by women that show many of these signs. I believe C posted it to help them without direct confrontation. Sometimes, people just need a nudge to get moving. Hopefully, at least one woman will see herself in these points and realize that she needs to make some changes.

I was just curious. Personally if someone thought I was being abused emotionally or physically I would hope they would PM me. I'm sure someone is going to feel like you pointed the finger at someone without naming names. I do think this post was very informative. Just stating.