re: Rape and Sexual Abuse Survivors Thread

<blockquote><b>Quoting RealMrs.Perfect{BGWC}:</b>" That does not make it your fault. If you didn't want it, and I am positive you didn't, it is not your fault."</blockquote>



It was two days before chistmas. My dh and his wife left to get her kids (they didn't have a vehicle) and asked me to come keep an eye on my two babies and his brother. He was there (come to find out he was a previous offender) but couldn't be alone w/ his brother. I warned them that I had taken my medication and they needed to hurry. They were gone for almost two hours. I remember him having me come into the room and my kids crying outside the door. By that time I was out of it and falling asleep. It started coming back in the days after but at the time it happened I didn't remember because my ambien caused amnesia effects in me. I've never taken that smurfing medicine since.

Quoting Mrs.PerfectSluttt♥:" Yes, He was charged with sexual battery and statutory rape. Served 3 years and then moved to Texas. He attempted to add me on facebook about 5 months ago. "

Wtf. :[
I never reported mine, but the first is in jail for domestic abuse and he was deported to Mexico.
And the second, well. He's apparently still partying around, doing the same old smurf. Someone made me feel guilty about not speaking up about it the other day. Saying that I could save other girls from being hurt by him. But honestly I just can't do it.

Quoting RealMrs.Perfect{BGWC}:" I know the feeling. SO has dealt with my panic attacks. And he knows I am parinoid... I've told him ... [snip!] ... him to take our daughter out of the room to change her EVER. And he can't hold her or help wash her in the shower.... I panic."

He sounds like an amazing man for being able to respect your wishes, you're very lucky sweetie.

Quoting RealMrs.Perfect{BGWC}:" I know the feeling. SO has dealt with my panic attacks. And he knows I am parinoid... I've told him ... [snip!] ... him to take our daughter out of the room to change her EVER. And he can't hold her or help wash her in the shower.... I panic."

im the same way. SO finally just convinced me to let him take LO with him for a week all by himself...it was the worst day of my life lol i paniced and raced over and stayed with him because i couldnt handle it.

Quoting RealMrs.Perfect{BGWC}:" I know the feeling. SO has dealt with my panic attacks. And he knows I am parinoid... I've told him ... [snip!] ... him to take our daughter out of the room to change her EVER. And he can't hold her or help wash her in the shower.... I panic."

 

<blockquote><b>Quoting RealMrs.Perfect{BGWC}:</b>" It's not that at all. The sickos have a have a way of knowing we are vulnerable."</blockquote>



That's exactly what my couselor has told me. I've become pretty paranoid now.

Okay, I've finally got the balls to post this. i've been thinking about it since I saw this thread posted. It is very hard for me to do this. The first time I was raped I was 10. It was by my cousin while we were at his house for vacation. He was 14 at the time..I know right what 14 yr old thinks to rape somebody. We were hanging out in his room and listening to music. Just talking about what the game plan was for the next day. Well Then I laid down in his bed because I was getting cold. I started to drift slightly off to sleep (you know that sleep that even the slightest sound or touch can wake you up out of ). That is when I felt him start to rub my breasts and stick his hand down my pants. I was terrified. I begged him over and over and over not to do this to me. As I started screaming because he was taking my clothes off he held a gun to my head. Told me if I told anybody that he would find me and kill me. To this day I'm still terrified of the dark, I'm still terrified of guns, and I'm always afraid somebody is out to get me. I just want to be normal. I want to be able to tell my kids there is no reason to be afraid of the dark. I don't want to have to explain to them why I always check underneath vehicles before I get in them or why I won't leave the house after dark. This is just the first of many times I was raped. This is the only time he raped me, but I shall share my other stories hopefully in the near future. This one occurred 10 years ago and I didn't even have the guts to tell anybody. It was my life and tell or just be quiet and deal.

Quoting DescendedDelight:" Wtf. :[ I never reported mine, but the first is in jail for domestic abuse and he was deported to ... [snip!] ... up about it the other day. Saying that I could save other girls from being hurt by him. But honestly I just can't do it."

obviously if he did it to you and is still doing the same...the blame cant just be on you. obviously there are other women out there who have suffered at his hand. if someone wants to make you feel guilty they should track down all those other women as well and give them a fatty guilt trip for not speaking up. never would it be your fault if he did it to someone else. only his.

Quoting Mrs.PerfectSluttt♥:" He sounds like an amazing man for being able to respect your wishes, you're very lucky sweetie. "

Thanks. He is amazing. We have our problems.... But I love him so much. He has been amazing thru everything. The first time we had sex, I flipped and ended up knocking him to the floor and hiding in a corner.

Quoting DescendedDelight:" Wtf. :[ I never reported mine, but the first is in jail for domestic abuse and he was deported to ... [snip!] ... up about it the other day. Saying that I could save other girls from being hurt by him. But honestly I just can't do it."

People are so disgusting, you are not enabling him in any way by not turning him in. I would hate to see how testifying and reliving everything he did to you would affect you. I think you just need to heal. But don't carry on those feelings that you are in some way partially responsible for his actions.

Quoting DescendedDelight:"  "

This is what I was talking about the other night, Nydia. I wasn't sure if I should elaborate. In retrospect, I should have... So you knew someone understood.

Quoting Cylus's Mommy:" Okay, I've finally got the balls to post this. i've been thinking about it since I saw this thread posted. ... [snip!] ... one occurred 10 years ago and I didn't even have the guts to tell anybody. It was my life and tell or just be quiet and deal. "

Oh mama  
I am so sorry.
<33 you're so strong for sharing.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cylus's Mommy:</b>" Okay, I've finally got the balls to post this. i've been thinking about it since I saw this thread posted. ... [snip!] ... one occurred 10 years ago and I didn't even have the guts to tell anybody. It was my life and tell or just be quiet and deal. "</blockquote>


I'm sorry mama. Its worse because a person you should be able to trust (family) did this. I didn't tell my mom about everything until almost three years ago. I'm glad I talked to her though because she passed a few months later.

Quoting Cylus's Mommy:" Okay, I've finally got the balls to post this. i've been thinking about it since I saw this thread posted. ... [snip!] ... one occurred 10 years ago and I didn't even have the guts to tell anybody. It was my life and tell or just be quiet and deal. "

Oh my god, mama. I can't imagine what any fourteen year old would be doing with a gun, let alone sexually assaulting someone. Especially his cousin. :[
I am so sorry <3

Quoting Cylus's Mommy:" Okay, I've finally got the balls to post this. i've been thinking about it since I saw this thread posted. ... [snip!] ... one occurred 10 years ago and I didn't even have the guts to tell anybody. It was my life and tell or just be quiet and deal. "

im sorry he did that to you. my rapist threatened to kill me too, and while he never held a gun to my head i understand the fear of thinking there might be someone out there. but your so strong for posting about your attack...i hope things get better for you hun <3