I'm at a loss

Well, as I got up this morning my step-mom called me crying. To my surprise and I suppose everyone elses, my dad who is in Iraq atm told her he wanted a divorce. I thought that maybe she was just over reacting or didn't get his story right, so I told her I'd call her late since I was getting ready for work. When I get to work which was about 10 mins ago I check my e-mail and there it is the subject spoke for itself, "I Need To Tell You." My heart absolutely sank when I read the e-mail. He said that he fallen out of love with her and wasnt cheating.. just since he has been in Iraq he has had a lot of time to think.

Divorce just frightens me and I know if he isn't happy and hasnt been for awhile then I don't think whatever I say can change that. It's just I'm 21 and I feel like I'm 3 again getting ready to go through the divorce my parents had. I mean I've known my step-mom for the past 18 years of my life and I don't want to take sides, of already had to go through that enough in my life picking between parents.

I honestly really don't know what my question was I came in here thinking to ask. I'm just at a loss for words and feel empty.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Tell your dad how you feel. Good luck!

My heart goes out to you. At this point you have to think of your baby and try not to let the issue with your dad stress you out. Tell him how you feel and with you being an adult this time around you shouldn't have to choose sides and don't let them make you feel like you do. Stand firm on your decisions and let them handle their own business.

Im sorry honey, I was in you situation as well! my parents split when I was 3 and my dad and mom remarried the same year! My mom is still with my step dad, thank goodness! but my dad and step mom just split, well its been 2 years already!! It will get easier honey and if you need to talk, you can always PM me!

I'm sorry. I think that divorce is as hard on adult children as young ones. If it is important to you, stay close with your step-mom, as well as your father, you shouldn't have to choose sides. After all she has been there for the last 18 years. Stay strong, it wont be easy, but it will all work out.

Quoting Becca Boo:“ I'm sorry. I think that divorce is as hard on adult children as young ones. If it is important to you, ... [snip!] ... to choose sides. After all she has been there for the last 18 years. Stay strong, it wont be easy, but it will all work out.”

They just had a episiode on oprah about this.

I am in the same situation as your step-mom. I was married to the ex for 8 years and it was decision to split as I wasn't happy and he was prepared to have a child with me!!! He had 3 children from his previous marriage who 8, 5 and 3 when we first got together. He had girl, boy and girl. We split about 6 months ago and after being the children's step-mum for nearly 8 years I haven't seen or heard from them since!!! It doesn't relly bother me but it is sad that they haven't been in contact with me or returned any text's that I have sent them after being part of their lives for so long!! Don't take sides and if you wanna keep in contact with your step-mom then please do it!! If your Dad hadn't made this decision then your child would have had her as part of it's family and that is what you need to think about. She was there for you so maybe you need to be there for her? It is entirely your decision on what you do and only you can really decide!!! Best of luck with whatever you decide but don't let it stress you out as you do have the baby to think off!!!!

Quoting mama3:“ They just had a episiode on oprah about this.”

I knew me an her had a "connection".  Me an' Oprah, yeah, like two peas in a pod. 

Thanks ladies.... I'm just scared for my step-mom I think.

It's weird because I just spoke to my step-brother and he didn't know anything about this neither did my brother.

So, I suppose we will all take this together and support our parents and each other as best as we can.

Quoting BiaNclaY:“ Thanks ladies.... I'm just scared for my step-mom I think. It's weird because I just spoke to my step-brother ... [snip!] ... did my brother. So, I suppose we will all take this together and support our parents and each other as best as we can.”

I am scared that this will happen to me...the father of my kid is in hawaii right now with lots of freedoms and hot girls....and all his grant money...and he is getting deployed some time later this year.....i dont know what i can do to prevent this...other then love him and tell him so.....My heart goes out to you, best of luck! 

I am so sorry. This must be hard for you Especially since she has been around for the past 18 years. There is nothing you really can do. I hope things work out though. Once again I am sorry. I know how it is to go through a divorce.

you should tell your Dad how you feel. Plus something good should come out of this even if everything sucks at the moment. I wish you well