re: 6 years ago April 1, 2011

Quoting merlo +2:" this made me cry...:::HUGS::::"

Im sorry.! I will never be whole again! Untill my little boys is forever in my arms and looks up at me and says mama its ok!

Quoting Sam H.:" I am so sorry momma, I was forced to have mine too. The father didn't care and said he would never step ... [snip!] ... happy she doesn't have to feel the way I do, and mine was only 4.5 months ago :[ but you are an amazing and strong woman <3"

I was 19 as well! Your never the same! And 23 weeks, ugh its gut wrenching! I want to help others but I am not ok enough to help myself. I watch abortion videos, look at aborted baby pictures, I feel that I should have to face them. I do not have a right to hide from what I did to my son!

Quoting Sam H.:" I am so sorry momma, I was forced to have mine too. The father didn't care and said he would never step ... [snip!] ... happy she doesn't have to feel the way I do, and mine was only 4.5 months ago :[ but you are an amazing and strong woman <3"

Its sad because so many look at us like we are garbage for what we did. They do not understand that we have to live with it the rest of our lives, and the damage we have done to ourselves. If you ever want to talk exchange experiences, or just need someone to listen I am here!

Mommy of two beautiful little girls, Jesus can forgive you, ask Him too, then forgive yourself..and every time Satan accuses you, you say, I am forgiven, my mistake was payed in full by Jesus my Savior, He loves you..forgiveness is the key. Forgive them who did this to you and then forgive yourself..the Lord already has. On top of that your baby son will be there with arms opened wide..he knows..you tried to save his life..he loves you!x
Romans 5:8 But God commandeth His love towards YOU in that while YOU were still in your SIN, JESUS died for you..x
I hope that helps!

have you ever thought about seeing a psychic like theresa caputo? ive seen her show and a couple of times she has helped out grieving mothers. maybe its worth a shot to help you understand your son is in a better beautiful place and never leaves your side. your an amazing woman and im so sorry you had to be put through all of this but i can tell how much you truely love your son.

Quoting goodf-ella {eoo}:" 6 years ago April 1, 2011 - I was pushed into an abortion. I had been and still 100% against them. Sounds ... [snip!] ... 23 weeks gestation because I was young stupid, and alone! PLEASE do not let this happen to you. An abortion lasts a life time!"

Wow...that his beyond HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

I am so very sorry for your loss. There has to be some legal ramifications, it doesn't matter if you signed a document or not. You verbally denied the procedure and attempted to leave and were held against your will. At the very least, speak to an attorney and see what can be done. What happened to you may be happening to many other women who don't voice what they've went through. Once you move forward, it's possible there will be a class action suit brought against them and they will be shut down...PERMANENTLY.

Unfortunately nothing you can do will bring your son back, I think you've already come to that realization. While God may forgive us, the most difficult thing we can do is forgive ourselves. Sometimes that just isn't enough. We're human and we often cannot forgive ourselves. One thing you must take solace in is knowing that you DID try to stop the procedure by fighting back, despite being held against your will, God knows what was and is truly in your heart. You will not be judged on that, the people who are guilty for taking the life of your son will be. His blood is on their hands, not yours...you tried to get out of the situation.

Please continue to seek counseling and pray about the issue. Maybe speak to a pastor at a local church and explain what's happened and that you are unable to cope with this, it may be possible for them to pray for/with you and see if there is something they can do to help you with your grief. One thing you must also see is the life in your children (now) and realize that they are a gift from God and that he has brought you out of that darkness with light...two of them.

Healing yourself will be the most difficult challenge of all, maybe you could take your experience and tell others what you have learned from it. Maybe this would help other young women make a more informed decision before they choose to abort or keep their child. This would not only be helpful for others, but it would be healing work for you...maybe help you work through your grief.

I wish I could give you the biggest, tightest hug right now!!! Please take care of yourself. <3

Quoting goodf-ella {eoo}:" ...they keep saying turn to god or forgive yourself and move forward! MY SON IS DEAD BECAUSE OF ME, I can not move passed that!"

I am SO sorry for what you went through. I was coerced into having an abortion against my will, and I too hate myself for what happened. I feel the same way. My child is dead because of me and I can't move past that either. I wish I knew something to say that would help.... but all I can do is tell you I'm there too, and you are not alone. I know I have felt more alone since it happened than I ever have, and that makes it even worse. But reading on this forum I know I am not alone. And neither are you. Again, my deepest sympathy. I wish there were words.