Single mom, what last name do I give my son?

My boyfriend and I just broke up and now I don't know what last name to give our son. I would like to keep his last name but I heard something about how his dad could come and take him whenever he wants if I do. I also heard if I give the baby my last name then it is kidnapping for him to try to come and take the baby without my permission. I'm hoping to also get child support from the dad. There's no possible way we're getting back together, as sad as I am to admit that. I just don't know all the legal stuff that comes along with this situation. Also, I'm from Oregon, if the laws are different from state to state. Please help.

give the baby both last names... and after you have him, get some form of a custody agreement in writing so that he can't take him whenever... My daughter has my step dads last name because her father is a jack ass. He's more into drinking and being single than being a dad. She's almost 3 and he's NEVERmade an effort to see her....Anyways,I'm pretty sure that in order for you to put his father's name and stuff down on the birth certificate the father has to sign the paper work...

Use your last name. The only way you would give your son your boyfriends last name would be if you were to get married. I made that big mistake with my son's dad and now its confusing at school and sports because I am remarried and people are always looking up our last name in my son's school directory and they can't find him because his name is different. My husband has raised my son since he was a year old and wants to adopt him but I need to get a legal consent from his father to legally change his name to my husbands. What a nightmare. Give him your last name that way you can change it whenever you want!

either one. I don't think it matters what last name you give him in regards to kidnapping if paternity has been established but custody and visitation hasn't.

UMM i don't think the last name has anything to do with if he can see him or not, if both of you are on the birth cert. then you both have a right to see him and spend time with him. Now it IS kidnapping if it's your turn with your son and you ex tries to come take him, and that goes both ways (at least in New Mexico) And the kidnapping will stand up in court even if ya'll haven't gone to court and battled out custody, until that happens ya'll need to come to an agreement and make sure it is written out and you have both sign it and you both have a copy. If you can make an agreement without going to court over custody then you can just go get your agreement legallized by a judge (again at least in New Mexico) As for custody they will just have to go off of a worksheet and will put both of your incomes and how much time you spend with you son and who has insurance coverage on him will go toward the other person helping pay for (you can both have insurance on him! ) They will add up both of what ya'll owe each other and then will make the person that owes more pay but after they subtract (give them a credit) what the less amount is.

You can give your son any name you chose. It doesn't even have to be yours.

as far as the laws where you live i wouldn't know i live in texas , but i believe it's up to you what last name you want to give you baby. custody has nothing to do with it.as long as you go to court and work out a coustoy agreement with a judge. and have it in writing from the courts. that i do know is the legal way anywhere in the usa. but as far as tha last name, it's up to you. it has nothing to do withwho gets him/her or anything like that. good luck with what ever you decied just make such you go to court for the child support and custody rights to be worked out.

Your right the last name has nothing to do with legal custody. If the father is on the birth certificate he has his legal rights to the child. You need to come to an agreement or something so that custody is in understanding of the both of you.
BTW I am sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend.

Quoting Karee27:“ My boyfriend and I just broke up and now I don't know what last name to give our son. I would like to ... [snip!] ... stuff that comes along with this situation. Also, I'm from Oregon, if the laws are different from state to state. Please help.”

I'm putting Ira as the father on the birth certificate (so I can get child support) but Haylie's having my last name.

I've been thinking about that alot! My boyfriend and are together and everything is fine NOW! But I always think what if he leaves? Or you know something happens, we're not engaged or anything. If there isn't a commitment then my child should have my name because then I can do have the first say which is the least I deserve as a mother. Now thats what I think! But I think the last name doesn't matter for a child support I think they do a blood test!

When do I go to court for all this? Before or after the baby is born? And do I have to go to court? I would like to work it out between us and have some papers signed without having to deal with the messy court stuff.

omg! so sorry to hear that. are you sure it isn't just hormonal? cuz i broke up w/ my bfin novemberand even called the apt manager looking for a new roommate! but now we're getting married! it was totally hormonal. i mean your situation could be different, .........
but anyway BEFORE we were planning on getting married- back when he was just my "financial /emotional support" and just MOVED IN w/ me, i went thru a period when i thought the baby should just have my last name, (although i was also dealing w/ the who's the daddy question) but then i thought, even if my baby stayed un-involved w/ his dad for most of his life, he would still want the comfort of knowing there was a dad OUT THERE, and maybe having his last name would be his only connection. i just think a/b my dad- i don't like him, but i'm very glad that i have his last name cuz even tho he mostly sucks as a dad, i still gotta have one. the name is the only thing that makes me feel like family.
Also, when i talked to the ex (who COULD be the dad, but is not the guy i'm w/ now) he said he wouldn't pay child support if i didn't give the baby his last name. it's either his name=visitation rights/ child support, or my name= he's uninvolved w/ the baby and i get no help. (even tho Ryan would be there to help me raise him.)
So, i decided i didn't want the ex involved at ALL and that even the financial support wouldn't be worth sharing the baby, so i told Ryan that it could just have HIS last name, and if we broke up we'd just work something out if he still wanted to play daddy.
But i talked to an attourney- you should do that, just call one up and if they're nice they'll give you advice for free right over the phone... he told me that i could get full custody and the ex wouldn't be able to get any rights. but i think the ex would have to sign away his parental rights. not sure.
i solved that issue tho, cuz they also said if i got married before the baby was born, the law counts it as my husbands baby- no paternity test neccessary!! so we won't be having any problems even if it IS the ex'es.
wow- SORRY this is so long!!!

Quoting PrincessMommy:“ omg! so sorry to hear that. are you sure it isn't just hormonal? cuz i broke up w/ my bfin novemberand ... [snip!] ... baby- no paternity test neccessary!! so we won't be having any problems even if it IS the ex'es. wow- SORRY this is so long!!!”

Way to make it about YOU.



anyway...to the original poster.

After the baby is born see a family lawyer.
The last name doesn't matter....except to YOU...if you want your child to have yours give the baby yours...either way.

If all the lawyer dows for you is draw up the papers that is fine....if you do it yourself you don't know what kind of loopholes you may be leaving him with.

Quoting Karee27:“ My boyfriend and I just broke up and now I don't know what last name to give our son. I would like to ... [snip!] ... stuff that comes along with this situation. Also, I'm from Oregon, if the laws are different from state to state. Please help.”

Since you mentioned that there is no possible way the two of you are getting back together, then I would without a doubt give your son your own last name. It would probably only be a good idea to name him after your b-friend if the two of you were planning on marriage.

Quoting Karee27:“ When do I go to court for all this? Before or after the baby is born? And do I have to go to court? I ... [snip!] ... to court? I would like to work it out between us and have some papers signed without having to deal with the messy court stuff.”

No you don't have to go to court. If ya'll can work everything out and have it set up and signed then all you have to do is take it to the court and get it legallized and you both sign the paper infront of a judge or mediator. And normally they won't do any kind of custody until after the baby is born b/c for the first while he won't be able to be away from you over night but he can spend time with his dad as long as you give him some breast milk to take along with them. But child support does have to be done through the court...but that's the easy part b/c it's just a worksheet they just fill out in front of ya'll and then ya'll sign it, you can't argue with it.

Hope this helps some honey...i'm sorry about you and your boyfriend