re: Single mom, what last name do I give my son?

Quoting krysbze22:“ I've been thinking about that alot! My boyfriend and are together and everything is fine NOW! But I always ... [snip!] ... as a mother. Now thats what I think! But I think the last name doesn't matter for a child support I think they do a blood test!”

It may be different depending on where you live, but here [in Florida] you can change your baby's name on the birth certificate up to 12 months after the birth of the child.

So I can get papers through a lawyer but we don't actually have to battle it out in court? The father wouldn't want to go to court anyways... he has a record of drinking, drinking and driving, distributing alcohol to minors, weed, coke... you name it. I have no doubts the courts would rule him to never have any paternal rights... but I don't want to do that to my son. I want to have full custody but still be able to have his dad come over to visit him or maybe take him for the day. Also, I am going to nurse the first year so I don't think the baby will be going anywhere away from my side.

My profile picture is making me depressed... I need to change that asap

Quoting Karee27:“ So I can get papers through a lawyer but we don't actually have to battle it out in court? The father ... [snip!] ... him for the day. Also, I am going to nurse the first year so I don't think the baby will be going anywhere away from my side.”

yeah...you can have a lawyer draw it up and the lawyer can send the papers to a judge to have them made binding.

you two just sign em before they go to the judge

Each state is different but in Idaho you can't add daddy's name to the birth cert without his permission unless you are married. They give you a consent form. I'm not sure if that has an effect on child support or not. I agree with those who have said talk to a laywer, there are lots of them who give free consultaions, also see if your town has a Family Justice Center (usually associated with the local police dept, but not in a scary way), they can give you any information you need.
As for the original question of your son's name, personally I would give him your last name, saves some confusion, you can always change it later if you do get married or whatever. I've seen too many moms who regret giving their kids the dads name.
Hope this helps, it's a tough call. Hang in there!

Quoting Prenita:“ yeah...you can have a lawyer draw it up and the lawyer can send the papers to a judge to have them made binding. you two just sign em before they go to the judge”

And I do this after the baby is born?

Quoting brandiln:“ Each state is different but in Idaho you can't add daddy's name to the birth cert without his permission ... [snip!] ... I've seen too many moms who regret giving their kids the dads name. Hope this helps, it's a tough call. Hang in there!”

Thats how it is here...the father has to sign the papers saying he is the father and all that...you cant just put his name down w/o him.

Quoting Karee27:“ So I can get papers through a lawyer but we don't actually have to battle it out in court? The father ... [snip!] ... him for the day. Also, I am going to nurse the first year so I don't think the baby will be going anywhere away from my side.”

The easiest way to learn how to do this whole thing through ur state would be to go sit down with a lawyer and ask them how ya'll can do this without going to court...and even if ya'll do end up going to court you actually have to go to mediation first and see if ya'll can work it out together. Now-a-days they would rather the parents work things out than a judge just deciding what happens to the child. And if you go see a lawyer they can put everything ya'll want into a legally document where there aren't any loop-holes for either of you.

Quoting Karee27:“ And I do this after the baby is born?”

i would go in and TALK to a lawyer before the baby is born


all that other stuff like visitation and paternity etc cant be done till the baby is here.

BUT i would talk to a lawyer just to find out what you need. What your options are. You know??

Quoting Prenita:“ i would go in and TALK to a lawyer before the baby is born all that other stuff like visitation ... [snip!] ... done till the baby is here. BUT i would talk to a lawyer just to find out what you need. What your options are. You know??”

Yeah I need to do that... does it cost money? Cuz I haven't got any...

Quoting Karee27:“ Yeah I need to do that... does it cost money? Cuz I haven't got any...”

You should be able to get the initial consult for free.

You are a student no?
Then see if there is a law dept at your college....or a legal aid place where you live.

i know there is one here in portland ...but not sure where you are in oregon.

anyway....the legal aid place....a court appointed mediator...(you can go to the courthouse and ask for that) any of those things can save you from actually having to have a custody hearing.

Quoting Prenita:“ You should be able to get the initial consult for free. You are a student no? Then see if there ... [snip!] ... can go to the courthouse and ask for that) any of those things can save you from actually having to have a custody hearing.”

No, I'm no currently a student. I only live an hour away from Portland, so I could go there. I live in a small town so I highly doubt there's any help here.

Quoting Prenita:“ Way to make it about YOU.

MMMMEEEEEOOOOWWWW Kitty Kat!!!!!
i wanted to share my experience with that, i'm always trying to relate to people in their situations because it makes them feel better that they aren't alone, that other ppl deal w/ the same things and thEN some. and obviously everyone is still helping HER with her issue, so iT'S NOT about ME, as i said in my post- i solved the problem already. i wasn't asking for advice, i was relating. maybe you aren't very good with people and you don't get that, but if it's me posting something, i like other people to share their experiences.  

Quoting Karee27:“ No, I'm no currently a student. I only live an hour away from Portland, so I could go there. I live in a small town so I highly doubt there's any help here.”

look up legal aid or free legal aid in portland....give some of them a call.

salem....eugene....places like that if they are closer to you would have legal aid help too.

Thank you everyone for your help