Really not a happy camper...

So I have not posted in a while... Moved back to Chicago, been here for a week now, trying to ge everything into a neat and organized state of manageable chaos, but so far no such luck. You cna only get turned away by so many clinics or DHS offices before you start to doubt the cosmos...It all began in MN when the clinic said no because we were moving back in a month, so i waited, I researched, I fretted the small things that were outside my power to change or influence, but I survived. I got the phone numbers and the addresses, the websites and the info bites. But then my cell didn't have any time left on it and we were broke... Couldn't call anybody, no family, no friends, no clinics or centers for assistance and benefits. So I relied on myspace to get the message to family that I needed help when I got back. So when I finally DID get back, we went to the clinics where they claimed to perform free ultrasounds (Sounds too good to be true, and girls, it was) but it was up to the tech nurses' discretion wether one would be preformed. She said no because Im too far along (HOW in the hell is that possible??? I have a baby in my tummy and an ultrasound shows it to me... its not like it... oh nevermind, still seems rather assinine to me tho) and so she referred me to a clinic center place thing where new techs were being trained and that I could be a model for them to learn on. I was so excited! I thought, this is it, I know what to do, and Im headed in the right direction... Alas, wrong again. We get to the DHS for food stamps, medical benefits, WIC and LINK and hand in the application only to find out GASP! we were at the wrong office and that we had to go to the worst part of the neighborhood to hand it in... but then she said "I think it can be faxed..." and now we have an application, totally filled out, just has to be faxed... Oh but it gets WORSE... We got a new car, it had a few problems ... the alternator died out on us 3 times, we had to rplace the battery 3 times and we have had it less than a month now... but we took it in, they're looking at it trying to figure out whats wrong (I think I can imagine monkeys with sticks poking at the engine right this very minute) and the dealership is 2 hours away from here. Oh joy, when it rains it POURS... I know Im long winded and if you're still reading this far, I commend you. Go eat a cookie, you deserve one. I needed to vent, Im so frustrated at the moment and I think the stress is making my IBS act up, I can't sleep thru the night without having to pee at least 7 times and my dreams are keeping me up... Oh and my fiance kicks in his sleep. Please, anyone, I need encouragement. Im so lost... I think I just need an instant decaf french vanilla cappuccino and a cookie... or maybe a nice lukewarm bubble bath with aromatherapy beads, nice candles, sparkling red grape juice (Im lame, but its so tasty and caffiene free bubbles) and some Johnny Cash... I feel slightly better now. So... yeah.  
~J Dobie, She with many words

hi j,
first off i commend you for keeping it together... life seems to be handing you curveball after curveball! nothing i say will make any of that better, but i can tell you that i sympathize, and if you need to vent, thats what we're all here for.
ive experienced times when the dr won't give a damn ultrasound, and i agree that its assanine, it only takes like 2 seconds... whats the big deal? i think that AT THE VERY LEAST they should let you hear the babys heartbeat.

i just looked up the planned parenthood and it says that they offer prenatal service, this may be something you want to look into... For medical questions, or to schedule an appointment with the nearest Planned Parenthood health center, call toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN or 1-800-230-7526.... hope this helps you out a little!

Youre right theres not a lot out there for expecting mommies, although there is a crapload of info on abortion clinics and adoption agencies... why wouldnt there be help for the moms who are going to keep the babies? crazy!
Heres another link you may want to look at it has contact #s for clinics in the area... http://www.ahirc.org/cat_list.cfm?cat=31&st=IL

^^^although there is a crapload of info on abortion clinics and adoption agencies... why wouldnt there be help for the moms who are going to keep the babies? crazy!

GOOD POINT!

As if all that shit wasn't enuf, the clinic that turned me away WAS a Planned Parenthood... So yeah I tried that route... A the moment now Im also dealing with my mother saying she wants nothing to do with the pregnancy... I just can't seem to catch a break... On top of that, I have absolutely no idea how far along I am now, I could very well be in my 7th month... I had the spotty bleeding in March, maybe 3 days of it and then I never got it again... Im so stressed at the moment and I have almost nobody out here to talk to, no friends and very limited family, almost everyone is too busy to help, even when all I need is a hug or a frappuccino... ugh... Im really lonely. Anyways, Im gonna try to keep this updated when something new happens... wish me luck, I guess thats what I have to rely on now...  

Well J, I am definitely thinking of you and hope that things can start turning around for you soon. What would happen if you went to the ER saying that you're very worried about the pregnancy? Don't they have to see you?? Just a thought. Keep your head up and just try to be as healthy as possible. And remember, even though things may seem hopeless sometimes, you're never really alone. Try saying a prayer and believe that things will look up soon. Best Wishes

Thanks for the encouragement, it helped some... Ah, the issue of the ER ... I JUSt applied for medicaid and food stamps and other stuff like that to help me out, so I have to wait till I get the word from medicaid wether Im accepted or not, and that could take upwards of 3 weeks.. And I can't see a doc until then because I have no insurance and my fiance has no job and neither do I because Ive been having a rough pregnancy. All the stress is making my body feel like its falling apart, so I... ugh Im just trying to relax now. I wish I could just breath easy for one minute and unwind, but no such luck with that... But one good thing, my cousin worked with a doc at an OB/GYN and when I have the card for medicaid, he's gonna start my case. That's something at least... Well, its really early, Im sick and I need to eat something so... yeah thats my latest update.

I'm glad that you'll have a doc! That's great. However, I would think that you could make the appt and go in now. I don't have any insurance now either, and when I called to make my first appt. I let them know that I had a pending insurance application. They are billing me for the visit, and when I have the Medicaid it will be retroactive, so it will pay for the visit. Most ERs can't refuse to see you if you don't have insurance, and most hospitals have organizations that donate money to cover people's bills that don't have insurance. All you have to do is ask about it and apply. I have spoken with people who have had thousands of dollars of medical bills picked up by different charitable organizations. That is what they exist for--to help those in financial difficulty! Just some more info that may or may not be helpful......Good Luck

Well ladies, last night resulted in some news... I had some very sharp pains in my left flank and my lower back was very tender, pain so bad I cried and was doubled up in bed ... Decided that I couldn't just let it pass, because it might not have, and it was strong enuf to concern everyone... so they took me to the county Hospital out here, and thank God they did... They hooked me up to monitors, poked and proded, did tests on my urine, and found out I have a UTI or an infection either in my kidney or bladder, or possibly pre-eclampsia... so im a bit freaked... But hey, got some other good news from last nights visit... I heard the heart beat for the first time, strong and healthy and it made me cry because it was so beautiful, almost lie music... then after I got to meet the speculuum up close and personal (My first OB/GYN experience at 22 years so I was terrified) they performed my very first Ultrasound! I got to see my baby for the very first time, and its so beautiful... I saw the tiny little nose and the ears and the eyes and the mouth and it was kicking a lot, but we didn't get to see the gender. Its a healthy baby, now if only mama can get better all would be well... And also im in my 28th week...so things are progressing relatively well, I have antibiotics and they also prescribed me a specialty prenatal vitamin, Im eating beter, driking more fluids like juices and water to flush the baddies away, and feeling a little better, at least my mind is at ease. I have my appliation in for benefits to the DHS and its only a matter of time now before that goes thru nicely, Ill have food stamps and LINK and WIC and Medicaid... Oh I feel so relieved now. It makes my heart feel a little happier too... All is going to be alright now, Im sure of it. But thanks so much for all your advice and encouragement, its been so hard the last few months and now... well... its just so good to know Im headed in the right direction. Hope you're all doing well, you'r always in my thoughts.  
~J Dobie