Stupid ex girlfriends... ::vent::

I've never made a post about my husband but I'm going to tonight. Okay... Soo, last Saturday Tom (my husband) went out went a couple of his friends. It's the first time he's gone out without me since Rachel was born 4 months ago so I was cool with it. His buddies, Matt and Eric were over at our apartment before hand and they told me where they were going and everything. So, they went out all night and went to House of Pies afterward to get a bite to eat. I called him at like 3am to see where he was at and he told me. Well, come to find out Tom's ex girlfriend was with them. He just decides to tell me this today when I freaking asked him. It wouldn't piss me off so badly but I just told him a couple of days before they went out that he better tell me if he's ever with her. They are just "friends" and all but I still deserve to know when he's with her. I don't think he would cheat on me but that's not the point. If she were actually nice to me, maybe I wouldn't mind him hanging out with her but I made a effort to get along with her and she was a bitch to me in return. I don't understand why he wants to be friends with someone who can't be nice to me. I KNEW he wouldn't tell me if he were ever with her. I always have this feeling that if I ever leave the apartment when he's here, he's going to call her over. I've actually had dreams about this. When he lies to me, I feel like maybe I'm being an idiot and there is more going on. I've preached to others that you must have trust to make a relationship work and I don't feel like I can trust him anymore. He's not even apologetic about it. He's now mad at me for being mad at him. I don't even talk to me exes because I don't want it to cause problems with my husband. What do you ladies think? Do you think I'm overreacting?

I don't feel you are overreacting I would be the same way. You deserve to know and he failed to inform you. I hope things get better Happy Holidays!

I think you have plenty reason for being mad! I'd be mad too if I were in your position. These guys want to complain that were too paranoid but when we give them the chance they keep shit from us. Or at least in my situation but girl don't listen to him b/c you have a good reason for being so mad. Just tell him to put himself in your position and think about how he would react. These guys want to go by a double standard and it's not alright. If they want us to cut them more slack then they should do the same for us and give us a reason to give them slack.

I don't think you're overreacting at all. I think it might have been a little different if you felt he was being more honest about it.
You don't have with your exes out of your respect to your relationship with your husband. He doesn't see a problem with hanging out with his.

Unfortunately it's a man thing, trust that if you were doing it, he'd be furious. They are funny that way. I'm not married but I know marriage takes a lot of work. Just try to keep the lines of communication open, and try to let him know why this upsets you so much. But you gotta try to stay calm when you explain it. Hopefully he will understand a little better, and try to respect your wishes.

Good Luck

Remember, your feelings are just that, your feelings. So never apologize for them. Just breathe and try to work it out.

im going through something kinda similar except that my husban admited that he cheated and not to worry you but he was defensive and got mad at me when i would ask him about it and turns out i was right just a thought sorry its such a bad one i hope it works for you

Thank you guys for the replies. Earlier, I was feeling like screaming at him, packing my stuff, and just leaving. I just get so tired of this crap. I know that if he keeps this up, our marriage will not work. I'm not one to put up with any BS. I haven't really even talked to him since he told me this. I know things would be said and he won't apologize. I always tell him to put himself in my shoes and he acts like he wouldn't care if I were out with one of my exes while he were at home taking care of our daughter. I know he would really be livid with me if I did this to him, whether he admits it or not.

Quoting ♥ Jess ♥:“ Thank you guys for the replies. Earlier, I was feeling like screaming at him, packing my stuff, and just ... [snip!] ... at home taking care of our daughter. I know he would really be livid with me if I did this to him, whether he admits it or not.”

Yah they always say that. Mine would tell me I don't care go be a hoe your the one whose gonna have a bad name but he knows damn well it would bother him. These guys just like to pretend like nothing bothers them but in reality they're just like us.

men are so durn transparent

he got mad becuase you were mad because he is trying to reverse the negative emotions and gain control over the situation.

he lied because he didnt want you to know he was with her.

what does that tell you?

i had a semi similar experience...my hubby and his friend never dated, but before i came along he had tried to get with her...well once i came in the picture she stopped talking to him for a while...then out of the blue she was calling him every day while he was at work, and never when he's at home or near me...was writing him on myspace saying she wishes that she did kiss him and pick him and blah blah....well shit really hit the fan when she called one day saying she was walking down main street, bout a block away from our apt...and then all of a sudden wondered if my man was home and was wanting to hang out...and then when he told her that he had to go to work in a few min, she actually stood out there WAITING for him to leave so she could talk to him...so at that point in time i told him i wanted him to have nothing to do with her...cuz it seems like she acts like i'm not around, and still flirts with him cuz of the past, and disregards my feelings

well back to my point...i had told him i didn't want him talking to her at all....well things was good and bout a few weeks after our wedding, i saw on the cingular website that he called her...so i confronted him about it and he said he just called to say happy birthday, that he only got the vm...i'm likeso hell, u couldn't even tell me u called just to say that to her?...if anything i figured she woulda tried to contact u first, not u her...so then again i thought things were ok...well time goes by, and once again i got a knot in my tummy, so i ended up checking his myspace im...come to find out he had written her just 2 days prior...and i was NOT happy with the convo...so he came home and again i confronted him bout him talking to her...and that nite ended with him deleting her out of his cell, off his messengers, and out of his myspace...and i think it finally got thru his head that nite how much it was stressing me out and irritating me...and i KNOW that since then there has been no contact...so i've been a happy prego to say the least lol  

ANYWAYS...if he can't just be straightforward with u bout something so lil as to him hanging out with her...it would make me think that theres something even bigger he's hiding...cuz to me, u wouldn't hide something so small if it didn't matter much, unless it had somethign to do with a bigger picture....sorry for it being so long  

Quoting knjg8165:“ men are so durn transparent he got mad becuase you were mad because he is trying to reverse the negative ... [snip!] ... and gain control over the situation. he lied because he didnt want you to know he was with her. what does that tell you?”

You're right.  

Quoting mana--baby:“ i had a semi similar experience...my hubby and his friend never dated, but before i came along he had ... [snip!] ... so small if it didn't matter much, unless it had somethign to do with a bigger picture....sorry for it being so long  ”

I know what you mean. If I ever told him not to talk to her, he would say something like "I don't want to be with you if you're going to take me away from my friends." Personally, I don't understand how you can ever be just friends with someone you were with for 6 months and slept with. There's always going to be something more between you.

yeah .....like lube....

Quoting ♥ Jess ♥:“ I know what you mean. If I ever told him not to talk to her, he would say something like "I don't want ... [snip!] ... be just friends with someone you were with for 6 months and slept with. There's always going to be something more between you.”

i don't have a prob with him being friends with his exes...and he doesn't have a prob with me being friends with mine...its when our ex significant others disrespects the new significant other then we get pissed...yes my ex has called a few times while the hubby is at work,and thehubby works from noon til 10pm...BUT the ex also calls while the hubby is home, and we've actually hung out together a few times...so its not like my ex waits til he's gone to try and get a hold of me and all that, cuz he knows he wouldn't feel too happy if a guy was just calling while he wasn't around...and my hubby talks to some of his exes on the phone and all that still, but they at least call while i'm around....its like a respect thing

Well, I just talked to him about it and he says "I didn't do anything wrong." So, I'm packing my shit. I'm not putting up with his BS. I'm sorry if I'm being dramatic. I just so pissed that I'm shacking. I honestly think he just doesn't give a rats ass if I leave. He'll probably just call his stupid b*tch over. He can't even apologize to me.

its not like u was actually accusing him of cheating...before him going out, u told him to just INFORM u if he was gonna hang out with her...its just out of respect for him to let u know...its just sad that u only asked to be told bout her company, and he can't even just tell ya she was there

men get defensive over the stupidest shit