Advice please?

(ahead of time.. sorry for the language lol)
I feel kind of embarrassed (sp) posting this because I don't wanna seem like a bitch and I dont want everyone thinking that my boyfriend is an asshole... But I've been having a hard time with my baby's daddy... He hardly helps out and if he does its becaues I told him to. He doesn't get up at night with the baby and then he turns around and says "well you didn't wake me up, you never wake me up" ... I shouldn't have to should I? I mean when you hear your baby crying you don't just lay there and try to wake the other person up for 15 mintues while your baby is screaming bloody murder, you get up and take care of him.. right? Anyways it's not just that, but when Isiah goes to him- he crys and flips out but then once he comes to me he calms right down and stops crying, I really think Isiah isn't use to his father and it kills me to see that because he don't do anything! And I have to say our relationship isn't the best.. I thought it would get better once the baby was here... I was wrong it has gotten worse, and I bite my tongue and say I'm the one thats wrong everytime just so we don't fight in front of Isiah... It's not healthy for him and I dont want him to be in that type of environment. I'm just wondering though if I should just tell him we need a break, I'll move out and go back to my moms house so i can finish up school and have a job, and he can stay in the house we live at now and just split up the visitation rights without having to go to court or anything.. like one week he has him for 4 and i have him for 3 days.. and then the following week i have him for 4 days and he has him for 3.. Only problem is.. I don't know how to tell him with out him flipping out at me and being all defensive & yelling... I need help I really do, because I personally think.. for the babys sake and for our own good that me and him should just be friends and work things out like that .. Never know distance may make the heart stronger.. or maybe we'll both see that we shouldn't be together... But anyways advice is welcome! lol ill check back later babies crying.

Right now is the time to whip him into shape. My husband wouldn't do anything with our first daughter. You have to spell it out for them. They are men. If you don't he will continue to drive you crazy. Tell him what you or your baby wants.Whatever you do don't stay together just because of the baby, but don't split up for the same reasons. You need to sit him down and let him know how you are feeling and after that if he doesn't want to change or help then go from there.

well im not sure about him having the baby for days straight when hes not even caring for him now. but dont feel bad, my bf does the same thing. he never wakes up at night and if he does try to help he usually just ends up getting in my way. i have to ask him to change her, and its like pulling teeth. and he still hasnt bathed her, even though one day i told him to over and over and he just kept ignoring me, so finally after many many hours,i had to do it myself. if you feel you need a break thats totally your decision. maybe just talking to him for once instead of holding your tongue will help also. guys need us to tell them when theyre doing something wrong, they dont just "know" like we want them to. i know how frusterating it can be. my bf and i were liek this all thru my pregnancy, and i tried kicking him out too many time to count haha, i would throw a huge tantrum and throw all his shit outside. but he never left. and thats how i knew he wanted to be with me. if he wanted to leave i gave him the perfect chance to. so pretty much i was just testing him, in a very hormonal way haha. but luckily we have gotten oast that part and are doing pretty good most days. but it's totally up to you, nobody knows your situation like you do. good luck.

The sad thing is, is that I know he can be a good dad- he just isn't trying! I mean I'm in college yeah I don't go to class because I do online classes- I started it when I was pregnant because it was to hard to go to class for me.. But it still kills me to get up throughout the night and then the morning and while I'm feeding him I'm on the computer doing homework.. and he sleeps till 1-2 in the afternoon... and lolajessup: i wouldn't leave him alone right off with the baby anyways.. i'm not that crazy lol i have to know that he'd wake up when he crys and all that..
I'm just afraid he's gonna yell and scream at me again and just flip monkies pretty much.. I wish there was an easier way to tell him how i felt .. hasn't worked to well with me in the past with him.. I mean he goes out for hours and hours and hours and leaves me home alone with the baby while he's enjoying his 20s! I love my baby don't get me wrong but I think I deserve to go out too.. I haven't hung out with friends for almost 10 months now.. ugh

my husband was the same way at first, if i didnt wake him up to help me with the twins he wasnt getting up and one day i just had enough the girls were napping so i let him have it, i told him it pissed me off that im the one doing everything and whenever i ask him to help he bitches about it, we got into a huge fight he actually left and went to his moms, i told him not to come back until he had something worth while to say and he came back apoligized. now he feeds them gives them baths gets up at night if he doesnt have work, you have to really tell him how you feel and if you fight thats ok atleast your not holding it in and driving yourself bonkers. and never take the blame just to not cause a fight its not your fault dont let him think he can just push it on you since you are willing to take the blame, you have to be strong

Quoting TwIn ♥ MaMa:“ my husband was the same way at first, if i didnt wake him up to help me with the twins he wasnt getting ... [snip!] ... its not your fault dont let him think he can just push it on you since you are willing to take the blame, you have to be strong”

very well said. and dont worry hunny... yesterday was the first day i got to go somewhere without the baby. my bf let me go get my nails done for christmas, and my mom took the baby. so i got to be ALONE for 4 hours. it was weird.
but it's weird, i just dont want to see friends   i feel bad, but i have nothing in common with them. i miss my baby too much to leave her haha.

Quoting lolajessup:“ very well said. and dont worry hunny... yesterday was the first day i got to go somewhere without the ... [snip!] ... just dont want to see friends   i feel bad, but i have nothing in common with them. i miss my baby too much to leave her haha.”

haha i have the same problem, when i do finally get out alone i find myself rushing home to see my babies.. i miss them too much

I just hate him right now.. he's being a dick head to me i just wanna leave him so badly sometimes but i love him .. ahhhh lol

me and him were moving and his mother watched Isiah... yeah i missed him like crazy i know i'll have a hard time going out but even if its just for an hour ill be happy even 5 mins! but i dont even get to leave the house i feel like prisoner (sp)

Quoting IsiahsMommy:“ I just hate him right now.. he's being a dick head to me i just wanna leave him so badly sometimes but ... [snip!] ... out but even if its just for an hour ill be happy even 5 mins! but i dont even get to leave the house i feel like prisoner (sp)”

i feel liek a prisoner somedays too. and most of the times when i do get to go out my bf is with me, it's its like hes the warden haha   i do get to do a couple things on my own liek drs. appts whien my bfs working, or my mnommy class, but even then im carrying the baby around, which can be difficult. the baby is like my shackles!! haah the mommy prison.

oh yeah lol... hes mad at me right now because i wanna get a job

men are men.. sadly enough. My Fiancee' is a great father but he has his moments where i want to kill him. only about 3 weeks ago i layed my foot down and told him he needs to give Kurt a bath sometimes. He needs to put Kurt to sleep sometimes. He needs to start changing shitty diapers damnit lol. I know Im a sahm and he works but in my opinion he still needs to help so he does now. still not as much as i would like but he does.
anyways you need to tell your man exactly how you feel and have a serious one on one and maybe bring up that you might leave him. discuss everything and take it from there. do whats best for you and your baby! goodluck.

Simply put you are the childs Mother! Fathers have a different role than to get up in the middle of the night and change diapers.. Leaving him will not make him a better father. It will make your child fatherless.. and you will get less time than you have now. If your felling burned out as your Mom for help. Some men naturally gravitate to babies.. and the women who marry those men are lucky, but you knew who he was before you got pregnant and your owe it to your son to try to work things out. He will enteract with the baby more when he gets a little older, little tiny babies are intimidating, and not very much fun for men... You should be grateful that he wants you to stay home with your son.. Go through and read all the posts about women who are having problems because they work, there kids are sick because they are in daycare.. Working will not make you less tired, How sad your son is only 3 weeks old and you already want to get out of the house and be away from him.. I Can't imagine letting anyone else watch my son and he is 3 months old..