Very frusterated...

Lately my fiance has been very distant. I feel like im all alone. He does what he wants when he wants to without any regards to me. I dont know what to do about it anymore. Its making me stressed out, and extra tired, and worried that he doesn't want our child. At this point i dont really care either way. Im not sure anymore about anything, and im just sad all the time. I know its starting to affect my body, and maybe even my baby, but i dont know how to come out of this. I love him so much, and it hurts so bad. Theres no way of talking to him about it, becuase every time i bring something like this up, he trips out on me saying that im overreacting, and im oversensitive. How do i make myself feel better. How can i just tell him to "go to hell" without actually having to put it like that. Before i became pregnant i was on anti-depressants, and now i cant take them anymore. That is adding to all of my stree. I dont know how to handle this, and i feel like im loosing my mind. PLEASE HELP ME!!!

HAVE U THOUHGT ABOUT COUPLE COUNSELING MAN CHANGE WHEN THERES A BABY COMING.

*big hugs* for you

I think sometimes guys just have a hard time dealing with what's coming their way. My husband and I were not trying to get pregnant, but not not trying either, so it wasn't like it was a big surprise, but my husband still freaked out somewhat when we first found out we were expecting.

Most importantly you need to take care of yourself. I would give him a little room to work things out for himself, but don't give up trying to talk about what's going on. You guys need to be supportive of each other...even if that means being the bigger person and setting the example. And until he comes around, definately find someone you can talk to about how you feel. Someone who can just listen to your fears and concerns so you don't go crazy thinking you're the only one who feels a certain way. Honestly, look for a buddy in here...it's the greatest thing  

Honestly, my husband has just recently started to be excited about our baby...and we have just about a month to go. Guys go through all the emotions about becoming parents that we do and maybe even more because they have finances and 'dad' responsibilities that they suddenly feel they have dumped on them.

I wish you the best of luck...and if things get really bad...talk to your Dr...there may be anti-depressants you can take while pregnant, especially if not being on them is making things worse for you.

i dont know if he'd agree to that even if i brought it up. I just dont want to feel alone.....if it keeps up like this im going to go crazy!

Quoting pEyToNsMoMmY:“ i dont know if he'd agree to that even if i brought it up. I just dont want to feel alone.....if it keeps up like this im going to go crazy!”

Will it hurt to ask?

Quoting Sweetsaramae:“ *big hugs* for you I think sometimes guys just have a hard time dealing with what's coming their way. ... [snip!] ... Dr...there may be anti-depressants you can take while pregnant, especially if not being on them is making things worse for you.”

i will have to talk to him about that, because i was on pretty stong ones, and they just took them from me, and now i cant process my thoughts, and i cant seem to pull myself out of this. Befor at least when i was on the anti-depressants i had a feeling of sanity, now i just feel crazy, and sad, and alone.

Its also making me crazy because i lost my mom to cancer in May, and i'm still dealing with that. Im raising my 16 year old brother, and im working 2 jobs....i feel like im the only one who cares about what happens to me and my child

WELL THE BEST THING TO DO IS TALK TO HIM TELL HIM HOW U FEEL WHEN I FEEL STUFF GOING WRONG WITH MY HUBBIE Y TALK TO HIM EVEN THOUGH I BURST I TEARS ALL THE TIME BECAUSE LATELY IM SO EMOTIONAL BUT TALK TO HIM CAUSE IT AFFECTING U AND THE BABY.

Quoting BABY_ZOE:“ WELL THE BEST THING TO DO IS TALK TO HIM TELL HIM HOW U FEEL WHEN I FEEL STUFF GOING WRONG WITH MY HUBBIE ... [snip!] ... HIM EVEN THOUGH I BURST I TEARS ALL THE TIME BECAUSE LATELY IM SO EMOTIONAL BUT TALK TO HIM CAUSE IT AFFECTING U AND THE BABY.”

im going to try to talk to him about it tonight. He needs to know that its affecting me in bad ways. I just cant take it. I think we do need counceling or something. I know we are young, but we were so happy, and ready for marriage before all this. Now it seems like hes having second thoughts

Quoting pEyToNsMoMmY:“ im going to try to talk to him about it tonight. He needs to know that its affecting me in bad ways. ... [snip!] ... I know we are young, but we were so happy, and ready for marriage before all this. Now it seems like hes having second thoughts”

HOW OLD ARE U?

Quoting pEyToNsMoMmY:“ i will have to talk to him about that, because i was on pretty stong ones, and they just took them ... [snip!] ... my 16 year old brother, and im working 2 jobs....i feel like im the only one who cares about what happens to me and my child”

Wow...you are going through a lot! I think I would call the Dr first thing Monday morning. I had been on an anti-depressant , but had slowly weaned myself off because I wanted to get pregnant. Your system is probably still reeling from that let down.

You're not the only one who cares about you and the baby. Your fiancee may need some time to come around, so until then you have to build yourself a support system...not just for the pregnancy, but for your whole life. What about maybe an aunt, or a close family friend who would be able to step in and help?

There are anti-depressants you can take safely while pregnant. Talk to your OB dr about them. Than if s/he is of no help....talk to your family dr about it. It's better you be on them and feel better all around, than struggle / suffer through this, put stress on yourself and your body, and subsequently the baby.

You are overly sensitive and maybe over reacting.......YOUR PREGNANT! I actually cried once cause I dropped an entire gallon of milk and it spilled all over the floor and I had no idea how to clean it all up. There was just so much and I was so overwhelmed. I swear to you, it was like the end of the universe. Tell him "welcome to pregnancy. it's a long and hormonal ride. buckle up and shut the hell up." At this point (not to upset you), he will probably not do much right throughout your pregnancy. You will just need to learn to pick which battles you really want to start and which ones to let roll off your back.

Men handle things a lot differently than women. Most of them (even if you are married and have a very loving / happy relationship) will act like complete chodes at some point, if not most of the way through your pregnancy. My fiance is a wonderful person. Throughout my pregnancy....I've had an overwhelming desire to put a pillow over his face while he sleeps, cause he (to me anyways) acts like an insensitive dick.

Example; I have been trying to watch a movie with him for over a week now. Just a simple relax at night, after the kids are in bed....watch a movie. Yeah....so far we have not seen any damn movie. He says tomorrow is "date" night and we are going out shopping, going to dinner, and suppose to be going to a movie. I am not holding my breath on any of this. In fact, I'm pretty sure something will come up and we will not go (of which it will just add more fuel to the fire to be pissed off at him). But his buddies called today and he was totally available to go hunting with them all morning and all day. Of which......I said something to him ("you'll jump to go do things with them....and put me on the back burner.") I started that battle.

Example 2; we are at my dr appt and I finally mentioned about how I was so unbelieveable irriatated and pissed off at him (for various reasons), but I have kept my silence for weeks now....if not longer than a month. He decided to open that can of worms. I told him I didn't want to get into it and for him to let it go. He pushed the issue. I said "well first, you don't listen. If you did, you would know there is a problem. But let's start with the the fact you have 101 excuses as to why we don't have sex. I'm sick of them, and I don't care anymore. In fact I will have the dr tell me I am on pelvic rest, just so I can be pissed off at someone other than you cause I'm not getting any. This way it takes the blame off you (of which I forgot to ask the dr when he came into the room)." I told him that it's been about a month if not more....and he needs to put out or he is getting replaced by a new bf / fiance that will actually have sex with me, or he will come home to find a new BOB (with 120 v adapter) laying on his side of the bed.

I think I he got my point. But I keep a lot of things quiet just because I am not sure if I am starting stupid fights cause of hormones, or maybe I'm over reacting, or maybe he's just a putz. After about 3 days, if it's really nothing at all.....I won't still be pissed about it. But after 3 days, if I am still pissed.....depending on the subject matter.....I will let all hell break loose. Just be aware of your own feelings and hormones, try to keep a clear head on "major issues vs. stupid shit" this way you aren't making mountains out of mole hills. As far as feeling alone, I think everyone feels that way at some point in their pregnancy. I know I do (of which I get pissed at him for). lol.

Quoting BABY_ZOE:“ HOW OLD ARE U?”

I am going to be 19 on Dec. 24, and he'll be 21 in march!



momma i feel your pain. I ask him if he wants to lay down and watch tv with me , and the excuse is he has to take a shower, or something of the sort...its just so frusterating. I know we are young and all, but im ready for my baby. He probably isn't, and ill give him that, but i dont want it to be like this once the baby comes....do you think it will still be the way it is now?

Most men (can't say all because of the loving "hallmark husbands" out there) go through stages. He may feel that his life is over (DO NOT take that the wrong way). But it will be.....but I am young and need to get this out of my system, or I won't be able to do this and that after the baby gets here so I need to do it now. The baby is a good thing.....and I am sure he is excited......but he is also scared. He will never tell you that, but he is now going to be partially responsible for another life (financially, emotionally, physically, and mentally)....and it makes their heads spin. Men are wired backwards in case you aren't aware of this. Even if this is planned they go through weird shit like that. Maybe not to that extent.....but they get quiet or standoffish, and than they come around again. It's going to be an adjustment for everyone. Cause it's going to go from you getting up allhours of the nightthroughout your pregnancy to pee (your body's way of prepping for when the baby wakes you up....I'm a firm believer of that. lol), to getting up with the baby at all hours of the night to feed him. You are both young. And whether this baby was planned or not....there is going to be a lot to get use to. And women tend to flex more and roll with things than men do. He will probably be a complete wreck (and somewhat useless) when you go into labor. For the fact being, he loves you and you are in pain, and he can't fix it. He can do nothing more than sit by and watch while you go through it. My (now ex) husband didn't know what to do when I went into labor with our first born. In fact after the baby came out he realized we were both fine, he turned green (and I do mean green) and damn near passed out. Everything is going to take time to find it's balance. And once you find your balance through pregnancy.....you'll have the baby. Than you gotta find your balance with the sleepless nights and everything else. Do I think it will stay that way after the baby is born....no. Also, after the baby is born, he may be a bit lost on what to do with the baby. You will need to guide him in a non-condensending way. He may be afraid to hold the baby. Just be aware of these things. I am not going to say that all this will happen.....but be aware that it can. I've seen some of it through my own experiences and through what some of my friends went through. If you need to chat, feel free to pm me.

thank you very much. I think your right. I think hes very scared, but has no i dea how to tell me that, because he's the strong dominant male type. Kinda macho and doesnt ever really show how he feels. I hope that after the baby comes it will be more real to him and he'll feel differantly about things. Thank you very much for you kind words and wisdom. It helped alot.