Mommies w/ PPD Share your Stories Here

It is estimated that 1 in 4 women will suffer from some severity of postpartum depression. I being one! It can be scary. You aren't alone! I have gotten it worse w/ each birth. Symptoms include but are in no way limited to;
*saddness
*hopelessness
*low self esteem
*guilt
*insomnia
*appetide disterbances
*Exhaustion
*emptiness
*social withdrawl
*fatigue
*frustration
*feeling like a bad mother
Remember-there can be many more symptoms not listed above. Please do not be afraid to ask for help. I was afraid to ask for help and my depression got so severe that I tried to take my own life when my son was 6 months old. We need to support one another! It can be scary but there is def treatment. All is not lost!

I just started medication today. I told my lactation consultant that my baby hates me. That stopped her in her tracks and asked me how was I feeling. Then thats when the water works started. I knew I had theblues but it got worse. I really didn't think that there was anything wrong even though I didn't want to go out, talk to friends, I was not interested in eating (and I NEVER miss a meal) I thought she hated me and I was afraid to hold her, everything my husband said to me I took as a persoal put down, I felt I had no connection to my daughter and she felt that way too (she's 6 weeks old today)
For me it started as a crying day then a few good days then more and more crying episodes than not. I would think horrible things and that would get me going.

i tried to deny the fact that my baby blues was worse than what I knew was "normal" so for 3-4 weeks I pretended like nothing was wrong all the meanwhile treating the hubby and my baby horribly. I was mean, sad and I couldn't control any of my emotions. Then one weekend we went to stay with my mom and my evil stepfather and my hubby and I were expecting to buy one of their cars from them. Well long story short, we didn't get the car because of the smurf stepdad and I went suicidal. I felt like if I wasn't here on earth, then people's lives would be better. And of course, I wouldn't have to deal with all these crazy issues that I had going on at the time. I felt that if I just got rid of myself, my daughter and my hubby could lead a happy and better life. The next morning after all this, I got up early, sat and talked to my mom. She said she had it really bad too, she told me that things can't get better when you're trying to fight this alone. So on the way home, I finally told my hubby that I was having serious problems, and that I needed some serious help with them. He begged me to call my doctor, I had planned on it anyway. I called, got an appointment after I had an hour long conversation with the nurse. My doctor gave me zoloft and also set up an appointment with a physcologist [sp?]. That was like 4 months ago and today, I feel better, no problems...andI am desperatley ready to get off the Zoloft. So yea that's my story and it's not easy to get through but if you don't get help asap...the consequences could be horrific and way worse than having to take meds. We hear about it almost daily, how a mother has harmed her children and come to find out she had ppd. If you think you are having symptoms, even if it's just one, talk to your doctor PLEASE! And if you needed someone to talk to who won't judge you, know you can PM me anytime!

I felt like Aimee did.. I felt as if Annika hated me. I didn't feel like she was my daughter, I didn't feel like I was her momma. I would scream at david for no reason, I didn't want to be around ANYONE but I didn't want to be alone...... I would shake at the thought of going outside... everything david said to me, I Thought he was just trying to make me feel worse.... I hated my life, I hated that I had a baby, I didn't want to be alive anymore. I've only been on Zoloft a few weeks.....it's slowly working , I can tell..... but yeah..

I can say it's nice to see that there are others.....Now that I am feeling a bit better I had the courage to write something.....The first few weeks I kept looking on here hoping someone had written something.
I am surprised that there isn't a board dedicated to this......I know that there has to be other women suffering like we are/did
Also I read Brooke Sheilds book- my mom suggested it and thats when I realized that I had PPD. We had such simular thoughts and reaction on certain things but I don't think I am close to as bad as she was. But thats what scared me I could get worse than now cause it just snuck up on me

Though I don't have any children, and I don't know what it's like, I just wanted to say it's wonderful that you ladies sought help and that you are willing to share with other, so they know they are not alone.

Quoting aimeeintx:“ I can say it's nice to see that there are others.....Now that I am feeling a bit better I had the courage ... [snip!] ... I don't think I am close to as bad as she was. But thats what scared me I could get worse than now cause it just snuck up on me”

I'm glad you feel better and that you are able to write about. I noticed that I started to feel better even before I talked to my doctor just by talking to my mom and hubby. I was fighting it alone for so long that once I finally confided in them, it took a big weight off my shoulders and I felt more comfortable and was able to talk about to others. Thats why I feel it is very important to talk to someone, even if it's someone you don't know physically, like someone on here or whatever. Fighting PPD alone is what causes this problem to progress and get worse. Again like I said before, if there are any ladies who are just reading this and not posting and you feel like you may need some help, talk to me...I will do my best to help you, because I've been there and I'm still working on it today. Even now, I still feel like I could revert and sometimes I do get into a mood where my daughter's or any one else's slightest noise, or question can make me explode. I do think there needs to be a permenant posting site on here for this because, like you I believe there are many on here who are just plain afraid to admit that they are having these feelings and problems.

I didn't really have PPD, but I did start having HORRIBLE anxiety after I had my daughter.
My anxiety slowly grew. Not just being afraid that something would happen to her, just anxious in general. I became clausterphobic(sp?).
My doctor put me on Zoloft, which turned me into an animal. I had to stop taking it.
I'm waiting until I get back on Medicad to talk to her about getting on something else.
Somedays it just gets so bad that I don't sleep, and I sit and watch Gia's every movement because I'm terrified that she will be taken away from me.

I've become really snappy, and bitchy. Almost to the point where Nate's wanted to leave me. I'm getting better at controlling it, and I'm hoping that I can go without the medication, but somedays its very unbearable.

Quoting Jess8168:“ I didn't really have PPD, but I did start having HORRIBLE anxiety after I had my daughter. My anxiety ... [snip!] ... I'm getting better at controlling it, and I'm hoping that I can go without the medication, but somedays its very unbearable.”

Anxiety IS a form of depression...or should I say a syptom. I hope that you get your medicad back because if you need the meds, you need them. But Iam real glad to hear that your are trying to control it on your own. Good luck!

Quoting SUGAPiEHUNNiEBuN:“ Anxiety IS a form of depression...or should I say a syptom. I hope that you get your medicad back because ... [snip!] ... if you need the meds, you need them. But Iam real glad to hear that your are trying to control it on your own. Good luck!”

Thank you!  
I'm trying, and it does get hard. But the Zoloft made me act worse. And I didn't like feeling the way I did.

Quoting Jess8168:“ Thank you!   I'm trying, and it does get hard. But the Zoloft made me act worse. And I didn't like feeling the way I did.”

You know what, I am having problems with Zoloft too, but haven't been able to change meds yet. I think I am allergic to it because from the moment I started on it I would get severe migraines. But your welcome

I take lexapro if I didn't mention it. My dr said that it's the middle ground between Paxil and Zoloft. Since I already have taken it in the past we decided that it was better to not fix what wasn't broken so to speak

is there anything you do besides take meds? if you take these meds can you still bf?

Quoting aimeeintx:“ I take lexapro if I didn't mention it. My dr said that it's the middle ground between Paxil and Zoloft. ... [snip!] ... and Zoloft. Since I already have taken it in the past we decided that it was better to not fix what wasn't broken so to speak”

Yea, I am currently trying to switch to lexapro since I am having problems with zoloft. Do you have any issues with is?

Quoting my lipgloss b poppin':“ is there anything you do besides take meds? if you take these meds can you still bf?”

I'm not sure. I would talk to your doctor, but I am sure that you can try and work it out without the meds.