Told I need to look like a mommy

okay im 19 years old I will be 20 may 26 and my baby is due may 29.
Im having a baby boy and at first must admit for a second I was dissapointed but im not now. Im actually really glad im having a boy.
But anyways..
my brothers bf said something that made me start to think.
Okay im not exactly a girly girl.
I love tattoos and peircings and if anyone knows what Suicide Girls are I was accepted to be one right before I got preggo. My theme in my style and clothes are Skull & Crossbones and I like punk rock music.
Im being told that im bout to be a mommy and I need to start looking and acting more like a woman like a girl, like a mom...
and when he asked me what my baby's room theme was and i said Pirates he went crazy...

has anyone else experinced anything like this or am I a freak?

Oh goodness! How silly! Becomeing a mother does NOT mean that you have to loose your identity. You're not a freak, just because your taste is somewhat different than you're "Typical perception" of a mother. I myself have a couple tatoos, and plan to get some more. I got my eyebrow pierced this past year and I have two children already. My best friend is always getting new tattoos and peircings and her children are 8 and 5. That absolutly does NOT make anyone a good or bad mother. Your identity is yours. And if you felt compelled to bring about a "softer" image, then that's your buisness, but you don't need to change for anyone else.

Okay! We are the same age but I'm turning 20 next month on the 9th! (feb 9, 2007) Anywho! The second I got pregnant and realized I was going to (At some point) have to be grown up looking I decided now was the time to really go all out! I cut all my hair off and once I give birth I'm gonna dye my hair BRIGHT BRIGHT BRIGHT red and keep my hair short and finally get my lip repierced! My hubby is very supportive of this! He still has his lip pierced and a few other piercings and we realize we have approx. 5 years until we need (for our child) to be more conservative looking! And the only reason we even feel we HAVE to be is because we are going to be home schooling and it's important that we have a good appearance to support this! Until then I'm gonna have fun with my appearance! I have always been the type to dress extremely business like! I was working in an office for quite awhile but now my doctors and my husband and I have decided it would be good for me and my child(ren) to be an at home mom at least until they start school! So who cares what I look like? I know I'm responsible!

And you can ask your bf's brother if he thinks you should raise your child with that kind of close mindedness (Sp?) Being close minded to how someone looks is close to racism! (Thats from my hubby who is in a hardcore metal band) How you look doesn't make you a good parent! And unless you are wearing see through shirts without a bra then I think you are doing okay! Best luck!

ty to both of you guys...
and im sorry not to be mean but you are right about the close mindedness I mean after all he is gay and well thats not exactly well accepeted esp around here. but we still love him for him and my brother too so who is he to judge I guess.

I'm 28 and I have no plans to take out any of my facial piercings.

I've never in my life been a girly girl.

If it works for you, go with it. Your child will love you no matter what you look like, that's what's important.

Best wishes.

C.

DollFacexxloser wrote: okay im 19 years old I will be 20 may 26 and my baby is due may 29.
Im having a baby boy and at first must admit for a second I was dissapointed but im not now. Im actually really glad im having a boy.
But anyways..
my brothers bf said something that made me start to think.
Okay im not exactly a girly girl.
I love tattoos and peircings and if anyone knows what Suicide Girls are I was accepted to be one right before I got preggo. My theme in my style and clothes are Skull & Crossbones and I like punk rock music.
Im being told that im bout to be a mommy and I need to start looking and acting more like a woman like a girl, like a mom...
and when he asked me what my baby's room theme was and i said Pirates he went crazy...

has anyone else experinced anything like this or am I a freak?

k u know what ur losing the hole point of what u are lik eis to be diff every one else can just shut up it's ur life i have percings and shit like that all last summber i walked around with a mohock and a bkinie top pregnant puching a stroller what great looks lol im a good mom i have been told by lots of adults that im a better parent then a lot of people lol so what dress the way u want to give your baby the room of your choice it is your baby last summer i took my son out to albertas own on the last day (it's a rock fest thing ) the sun was the day my fav band was playing so we brought him the sun is the day u can bring ur kids lol we punked him out gaev him his mohock facke tats lol it was great we had a blast just tell poeple to FUCK OFF ur apperance will not change the mother u are how far along are you and what do you want

my boyfriends parents are constintly telling me that i will have to change wut i wear when the baby gets here n that i should get ne more peircings or tattoos.. they think i cant dress the way i like n be a good mom.. I like to wear black..n i love tattoos n peircings. n i dont care wut they think.. im going to be me.. i can still be a good mom n be me...

DollFacexxloser wrote: okay im 19 years old I will be 20 may 26 and my baby is due may 29.
Im having a baby boy and at first must admit for a second I was dissapointed but im not now. Im actually really glad im having a boy.
But anyways..
my brothers bf said something that made me start to think.
Okay im not exactly a girly girl.
I love tattoos and peircings and if anyone knows what Suicide Girls are I was accepted to be one right before I got preggo. My theme in my style and clothes are Skull & Crossbones and I like punk rock music.
Im being told that im bout to be a mommy and I need to start looking and acting more like a woman like a girl, like a mom...
and when he asked me what my baby's room theme was and i said Pirates he went crazy...

has anyone else experinced anything like this or am I a freak?

Hun I am the same way... I have piercings and tattoos and I dress in black alot and I love skulls and all sortsa dark stuff.... I am having a boy too.... my fiance is the same way and my child will more than likely be a little rocker with a mohawk... how you appear does not justify your quality of being a mother. I am going to be the best mommy I can be to my son and other children, and I will be in style!

You don't have to change for anyone, especially your children they love you unconditionally!  

Heathemo wrote:

DollFacexxloser wrote: okay im 19 years old I will be 20 may 26 and my baby is due may 29.
Im having a baby boy and at first must admit for a second I was dissapointed but im not now. Im actually really glad im having a boy.
But anyways..
my brothers bf said something that made me start to think.
Okay im not exactly a girly girl.
I love tattoos and peircings and if anyone knows what Suicide Girls are I was accepted to be one right before I got preggo. My theme in my style and clothes are Skull & Crossbones and I like punk rock music.
Im being told that im bout to be a mommy and I need to start looking and acting more like a woman like a girl, like a mom...
and when he asked me what my baby's room theme was and i said Pirates he went crazy...

has anyone else experinced anything like this or am I a freak?

Hun I am the same way... I have piercings and tattoos and I dress in black alot and I love skulls and all sortsa dark stuff.... I am having a boy too.... my fiance is the same way and my child will more than likely be a little rocker with a mohawk... how you appear does not justify your quality of being a mother. I am going to be the best mommy I can be to my son and other children, and I will be in style!

You don't have to change for anyone, especially your children they love you unconditionally!  

i like that last 5 words you mentioned"i will be in style" i will too.my baby will be a rockstar.i have so many guitars theres no way he/she want learn guitar.i love my rock and i love my black close crazy punk/goth and emo ways and styles and if my kid grows up and says he/she dont like me i guess i could change a little but not my babys daddy...to the woman who originally posted this topic.........do you have a website or myspace?if so whats your url?

Oh! And Dollfacexxloser I'm due only 5 days after you! [/url]

Wow. I could never imagine being told that...that's horrible for anyone to say...No one has to look like the perfect sitcom mom to actually BE a good mother. I personally don't like facial piercings, but that's me. If that's what you like, then you have every damn right to be and express yourself! Geez...tell the idiot to shut up. lol

There is no defintion on what a mother should look like! It's not an outward persona it's how you treat your child that makes you a mother! The people that say those things to you need a swift kick to the ass! Just seems silly that appearance is somehow playing a roll on whether or not someone is a good mother, gosh what else are people gonna start picking on. Blech to them and woo for you!

that is such CRAP!!! I actually look like a "mommy", most of the time but what is the definition of looking like a mommy I dont think there is or should be such a thing!!! I have a friend who is covered in tattooos you can see them everywhere she is married and pregnant with baby # 3 she is a good mom and what you look like doesnt matter it is how you are with your kid so be a good mommy and look like however you feel comfortable you are who you are and that is a good thing in my oppinion because your child will have the feeling of everyone is different and it is ok! next time ask the person what does a mom look like? I have this belly dont I?I hate dumb people sorry that one really upset me and it is just so rude!

girrrrl, don't even listen.

I like grindcore and all, and I'm dressin my boy in lil black onsies with patches.
haha I'm pretty sure you'll look like a mom no matter how you dress