postpartum depression... + my newborn has a cold

I think I am suffering from some mild postpartum depression. I can be very dramatic when I get upset, so maybe not... but I think I have postpartum depression
Today I am exceptionaly upset. My 3 1/2 week old baby and I both have colds. I believe we got sick from my 5 year old niece and nephew who were recently sick... and still lingering sickness. I tried so hard to keep them away from us so we didn't get sick... I pissed off my parents and sister, because I wouldn't watch her kids when the daycare wouldn't let them in, because they were sick. So my sister ended up having to stay home from work, a new job... which hurt her I guess not only as a single parent with no help from their father... it hurt her job and her bank.
I hate when people are mad at me and I try to help when I can but... what about my baby? he is only 3 weeks old... at the time he was only 9 days old... now my nephew is sick again... and I was asked again today to watch him... my mother, and sisters jobs are on the line... and I am out of work for my MATERNITY LEAVE with a cold and a newborn with a cold...
I broke down and I am watching my sick nephew. I hate myself for it too. I want to hurt myself for being a bad mom. my poor baby is sick, and I am allowing him to be exposed to my sick 4 year old nephew.... for my sister and mothers sake of keeping their jobs... my bf is going to be so pissed at me! I can't win.
My mother and sister got so pissed off at me this morning because I fought with them. I told them I wouldn't my 3 week old is already sick, I am sick and they got mad at me "your part of this family too!, your the only one without a job!, and the baby is already sick!"
its like well... he is already sick, and his immune system is down... what immune system he has... I am out of work for maternity leave... not because of am a lazy bum... I JUST HAD A FU**ing BABY, who is SICK. its not fair to him that I am forced to watch sick children when he needs me, and when he needs me to fight for him and stand up for him and say NO!! his health depends on it!!!
I am a nervous reck anyways... now that he is sick I am even worse..and now that hes exposed to MORE GERMS I am ready to just flip the hell out.
Why isn't my fucking baby as importent as my sisters kids? because my baby's father is around?
my mother is trying to get at my bf, by kicking me and my son out in 3 weeks... what the hell...
I am so angry and upset right now its not even funny. I have already been close to hurting myself lately... and now I really want too.
I am just trying to be a good mom, and I am being ripped apart for it from my family.
I am being very careful with having my nephew here... lots of hand washing... lots of washing things down... hes not going near my son... in fact... after today... I will not let my neice or nephew come within fucking 5 feet of my son for a LONG TIME...
my bf has a 5 year old daughter too... she doesn't get sick nearly as much as my sisters kids... I don't like her to go near him either if I can help it.
I understand that If I had a toddler... or another child who was older than it would be like the same thing... as having my nephew here... what if I had an older child who was sick as well as my newborn? what would I do? I would have to care for them both... I understand that... but if I can prevent my newborns cold from getting worse than I should, and its my job as his mother...

does anyone know of what I can use to clean the house with... I don't really have any cleaners on hand... I have some 409 glass and surface... and I can mix bleach and water or something, but I am worried about fumes... and I don't have gloves... and don't want to get it on my skin... I don't know what to use... I don't have lemons around... I just have the 409 and windex and some pledge... or just good ol' soap and water...

lysol works wonders. If you have a spray bottle you can put a small amount of bleach in it and water and spray things and wipe them so it won't get on your skin. I use bleach to wash dishes (not bottles though) and I just wash my hands with soap and water after I get done.

I Am so sorry you're going through all of this, your mom and sister should NEVER have put you in that kind of position and made you feel guily and obligated... thats awful, but i totally understand why you broke down and took your nephew, it's so jhard to say no to family... I hope things get better and i hope the baby's cold goes away! good luck hun!

I would no doubt be upset at the adults in the situation but I would really want to make sure that the children don't get to feeling unloved and unwanted. They're helpless in this situation  

I know things are so much more difficult when your emotions are all over the place. I hope you all get better soon.