re: My wife wants her mom there... Help!

I do understand your feelings, but you also have to try and understand hers. Sometimes a girl needs her mother!

I think the best option would be to sit down and discuss everyone's roles in the delivery room. There is going to be so much going on, and sometimes extra hands are nice. Perhaps her mom can be the one to run and get things (earphones, ice, wet washcloth) while you stay with wife so she doesn't feel alone. Or vise vrsa. Maybe you are 'down below' helping with the legs and the cutting of the cord while mom stays at the head to keep her calm. There is so much that you can both do, don't let it make you feel less important!

Let her know how you feel, and see if you guys can come to a middle ground. It is ultimately her choice....don't stress her out!

I had my mom there and my Husband for all 3 of my babies, I wanted my mom there I am a big baby and NEED my mom!!! MY husband, was there and tried to be comforting but eventully he started to piss me off and my mom was the only one who can calm me down sometimes. I say let her have her mom there if she needs her she is the one in labor....You will have MANY special moments with the baby and just cuz hr mom is there will not make it less special

My mom was there when i had my son along with my SO and my best friend (my son's God Mother) and i wouldnt have had it any other way. My mom was there to coach me in a way that my SO couldnt. 1- he CANT HAVE KIDS so he couldnt understand/tell me what was going on with my body. More than one person in the room makes a wonderful support system for both the laboring mom as well as the soon to be dad. (thats my opinion)
Labor is very scary to a 1st time mommy to be.She just wants the comfort of her mom there.

You have to understand where she is coming from espically cause it is he rfirst baby she is going to want her mom support even tho you will be there her mom will offer just a little more comferte then you can. Congrats on the baby

maybe find a compromise. like your MIL could be there until she starts pushing, then she can leave for you guys to have personal time together for when the baby is born and a short time after.

Though I do get the special moment bit....it's not your choice.
Maybe she wants her mother in there because it'll make things better for her. It's a stressful moment, a wonderful moment, and painful all at the same time. She may feel her mother can help relieve some of that for her.

Well, maybe you could compromise. Ask if you could have her mom step out when its time to push. Honestly before that, having someone else around will help keep your wife calm and relaxed. That will help the labor process. Then ask her mom to step out during the pushing.

It's a special moment but remember that it's all about your wife and the baby. You are there to help her. She needs to worry about what her body is doing and what is going on with the baby. So just be there and do what she asks.

As a bit of advice ask her how she normally is during pain. When I am in pain, I don't want anyone talking or touching me. That upset my husband cause he wanted to do something and all I wanted was him to be quiet and not touch me.

My wife also wants her mother there.... Just one problem, I hate her, cant stand her, I know it's my wife's right to have her present in the room but i feel i will not be at my best to comfort her and give her support the way she needs it if she's in there. She is a control freak and quite possessive. But if that makes her comfortable i guess i have to put up and shut up and show some acting skill with happy smiles and calmness for her sake. But deep down i'm boiling over with anger as i feel it's our time , there is two people in this relationship Not three. i am trying to be normal at the moment but my wife knows my personality has changed towards her over this issue As i'm distancing myself from her. As i do not want to discuss this issue as she becomes very emotional. while she is the mother and she is the one that has to go through all this and needs the support i feel that after all this i will be emotionally drained, but i guess i have to man up and just take it because as a father that is what you have to do. As when it comes to wife's and mil's you are to them the fall guy who must take all there hits

You should be all she needs? That's really unfair. Unless you two have known each other your whole lives, it's not the same. Her mom was her original shoulder to cry on way before she ever even met you. When humans are in bad enough pain, anyway, I don't care who you are - your first thought is "I WANT MY MOMMY! D:"

My wife wants her mother to be there also, ladies as terrified as you are is as terrified as us men are as well. The birth of my child is scary , emmotional and i should be able to cry if i want to and not hold back because my mother in -law is around. Its a time for creating a family bond just the three of us.

My SO was the same way as you are..
He insisted my mom not be there, though I NEEDED her there.
I honestly don't know how I would've done it with out her, my mom and I are very close, and got even closer because of this.
I couldn't have imagined my mother not being there :/
He was super supportive, but i knew from the beginning, I needed my mama!

I was only planning on having my husband with me when I delivered my first. But once things got going I so wanted my mom there....any woman but my mom all the better! She ended up staying all labor and delivery with me. My mother knew what I was going through. She could sense what I needed much more so than any man...even a very well intentioned man...could ever have done. Its kind of one of those things that until you have been there yourself you have no idea what that person in labor is feeling thinking doing going through.

And even if you are totally on cue with what to do for your wife, two people there to help her would only make the situation so much more pleasant for her! It will give her that much more security and peace. Her mother there will not diminish your joy or experience or bonding at all. If it does there may be other issues involved here then simply the birth experience.

If you don't let her have this, there may be strain and resentment there. If you do, she will love you for it! Think of what she has done foryou....produced your child and carried it through these months kept it safe and healthy, the aches and pains and worries, the labor the delivery, the changes to her body etc....yeah I think you owe her this man!