re: Birth Trauma/Birth Rape Support Thread

Quoting Boob Tick's Mom ebft.:“ Okay, so. My due date was January 20th, 2009. My daughter was born by scheduled c-section on the 12th. ... [snip!] ... my sister repeatedly gave T a paci whenever she visited. Oh, and I also ended up with a severe spinal headache. THE END! lol.”

Wow! I'm so sorry you went through all that.   *hugs*

Quoting Punk Rock Princess {EBFT}:“ Wow! I'm so sorry you went through all that.   *hugs*”

Thanks. I probably shouldn't dwell on it since it happened over a year ago, but smurf I think about it all the time.

I hate myself for letting them cut her out of me. I'll never birth in a hospital again.

Quoting Boob Tick's Mom ebft.:“ Thanks. I probably shouldn't dwell on it since it happened over a year ago, but smurf I think about it ... [snip!] ... smurf I think about it all the time. I hate myself for letting them cut her out of me. I'll never birth in a hospital again.”

Well good for you.   I'm sure you'll think about it time and again forever, but you can learn from it. Right?

Quoting Punk Rock Princess {EBFT}:“ Well good for you.   I'm sure you'll think about it time and again forever, but you can learn from it. Right?”

I've since learned a lot about birth. Something I should've read more on before letting all of that happen!

Quoting Boob Tick's Mom ebft.:“ I've since learned a lot about birth. Something I should've read more on before letting all of that happen!”

Hindsights 20/20.  

I went into L&D after contracting for about 5 hours (I think)
Got there, they told me to pee in the cup, did. They found out I had preeclampsia,
they put me on Mag Drip, which made me feel like I was on fire and completely tired out. After checking me over and over, the nurses decided I should be put on Pit., I wasn't dilating past two, I did not want it, I told them I didn't, So the nurse scared me into it, telling me that my baby would go into distress if I didn't dilate. So I agreed to it fearing for my child's life.
I feel like they didn't even give me a chance to dilate on my own. They asked me if I wanted any pain meds, I denied them, the nurse told me I was nuts.
I went from 2cm to 6cm to fully dilated, my bloody show happened, and I was rushed into the delivery room.
Pushing as hard as I could I was so tired, I was grunting and the nurse told me to stop.   Grunting was the only way I was getting that baby out!
after 10 mins of pushing the doctor pulled out the scissors, I told her, "no! I don't want to be cut!" I felt as if I wasn't even talking, my SO said they have to, my mother also told me they have to. So the doctor cut me.   I felt so alone in the crowded labor room.
 
Now, I am not even sure I want another baby.

Hi ladies!  
I have never been through a traumatic birth, both of my births were wonderful experiences with midwives I trusted. But I have been through some training for birth assisting/Doula type work and I wanted to share some resources with you.


I recently started reading a book called "When Survivors Give Birth" by Penny Simkin, and it was written primarily for women and caregivers of women who have had early sexual trauma or abuse in their past, but it also addresses rape as an adult and PTSD, which, as we already established, can be caused by a traumatic birth experience or birth rape.
I am about halfway through it, and found it very very insightful into the experiences of women who suffer PTSD and sexual trauma, and how that affects their birth experiences, as well as ways to understand them, help them be more comfortable, how to help them heal and find peace through your care.

I thought some of you might be interested in reading it, especially if you are pregnant again or planning another baby. I think it could really help give you the tools to be clear with your care providers and understand the psychology of what has happened to you, and how to have a better experience next time.


http://www.amazon.com/When-Survivors-Give-Birth-Understanding/dp/1594040222/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1269990626&sr=1-1

Another one that looks wonderful, from an author I LOVE is Birth Crisis by Sheila Kitzinger. I haven't read it yet, but I knowSheila Kitzinger has a great network of midwives who already deal with and havesupport groups for those who have suffered birth trauma. I am going to order it, as I feel like it's absolutely a MUST read for anyone who plans to work in the feild of women's health care.
http://www.sheilakitzinger.com/birthcrisis.htm

Best of luck to all of you!  
Sharon

Quoting Boob Tick's Mom ebft.:“ Okay, so. My due date was January 20th, 2009. My daughter was born by scheduled c-section on the 12th. ... [snip!] ... my sister repeatedly gave T a paci whenever she visited. Oh, and I also ended up with a severe spinal headache. THE END! lol.”

how much did she end up weighing?
i had a 10 lbs baby and i had no doubt she was that big

Quoting D33Z NUT$™:“ I went into L&D after contracting for about 5 hours (I think) Got there, they told me to pee in ... [snip!] ... to. So the doctor cut me.   I felt so alone in the crowded labor room.   Now, I am not even sure I want another baby.”

that made me cringe

i am so sorry your experience was like that 

Quoting Sharonblueyes{EBFB}:“ Hi ladies!   I have never been through a traumatic birth, both of my births were wonderful experiences ... [snip!] ... in the feild of women's health care. http://www.sheilakitzinger.com/birthcrisis.htm Best of luck to all of you!   Sharon”

i would like to read that, but i bet my library doesn;t have it lol

oh and btw, in another month my second class starts and i will be done with the site in 5 weeks after that  

Quoting tantric☮lemons:“ i would like to read that, but i bet my library doesn;t have it lol oh and btw, in another month my second class starts and i will be done with the site in 5 weeks after that  ”

Sounds good, I'll get crackin on your Mei Tai!  

Quoting Sharonblueyes{EBFB}:“ Sounds good, I'll get crackin on your Mei Tai!  ”

i am excited to do the site  
i guess in class we will learn to do a comment box or a response box, so they can send you a message on what colors they want  

Quoting tantric☮lemons:“ i am excited to do the site   i guess in class we will learn to do a comment box or a response box, so they can send you a message on what colors they want  ”

That sounds awesome!  

I was in early for 5 days, and hadn't slept in four. It started at a doctors appointment, where my OB stripped my membranes without a single mention of doing so, let alone asking me. It was extremely painful, and he informed that he expected I would have my daughter that evening....I walked away, not understanding what he meant, but come to find later, the gel he used, and the twisting he did with his fingers in my cervix was actually an attempt to put me in labor. I wasn't due for another 5 days. About 20 minutes later, the contractions came on hard, and were 4-5 minutes apart. That evening, thinking I was in labor, I went to the hospital, and they checked me, and said I was at 3cm. They kept me over night, in case I progressed, and I was stuck on monitors, with them checking me every half an hour (which I now know is extremely wrong). The following morning, I was informed I was being induced, and asked why, and they couldn't give me an answer, so I said no, and got sent home. When I returned home, my contractions picked up to 2-3 minutes apart, and I went to the hospital, where they broke my water, said there was meconium, and proceeded to induce me without asking me at all, and I was too stupid about it all to protest at that point. I thought my baby was going to die. They told me that she was in danger. So I was induced. After about 3 hours on pitocin, my contractions were overlapping, and we realized I was having back labor, which was intense. My nurse injected me with morphine (without telling me what it was, first) which I did not want, as I wanted an all natural birath, and then, while I was all drugged out, she proceeded to tell me that I wouldn't be able to have her naturally, and that I needed an epidural, because it was impossible with the pain to push her out during back labour without it (also a lie). So I got the epi, which they screwed up. The first time, they got as far as putting the tube in my back when they realized there was a HOLE in the tube. They could of smurfing killed me. Then they of course, had to re-do it. It didn't work, I felt my stomach and crotch, but could not move my legs, and I was extremely itchy and shivering for hours. Finally, about 5 hours later, after feeling the urge to push, I began pushing. My nurse proceeded to check the position of my daughter every couple of minutes vaginally. Then finally, everything sped up, and her head was passed the lip of my cervix, and she shoved her hand in side me for 4 contractions straight, making it feel like one huge 10 minute contraction, as I screamed and protested for her to stop. I begged, I cried, I screamed and no one did a smurfing thing, including my own mom. She later told me what she witnessed was "barbaric" to say the least. About an hour and a half later, my OB finally arrived, holding forceps in hand. Didn't even bother looking at me, or my contraction meter, just shoved his hands (both of them, with the forceps inside me, not aiming or anything, and pulled her out without a contraction, tearing my cervix and giving me forth degree inner tears, and causing me to bleed-out everywhere, to the point that I almost needed a transfusion. When she came out, several things were noticeably wrong with what he did. Her eye was bloodshot and swollen

and there was a giant gash on her forehead, and all over her head
Anyways, when she came out, she was wiped down, and handed off to my mother, even though I was perfectly capable of taken her. I was told I was not allowed to nurse her for a few hours, so my baby was starved for the first hours of her life. Then when I passed the placenta, despite my protests, they tried to rush it to bio-hazard. Thank god my husband ran after the nurse and got it back. Then for about an hour they pushed hard down on my stomach over and over to get the blood to gush out, gave me a needle and stuck a pill in my ass to stop me from bleeding.

Now, fast forward to the maternity ward, and the new room they put me in. They forced me to get up and walk around right away, and take a shower. When I came back, my newborn was having her blood work done for the 12 diseases thing. I look at the papers, and discover her blood was being put on the WRONG persons files. They were going to send my daughters blood with someone elses name and vice versa. Then my OB came in, and I asked him about the procedure he used, and he said I had to do it, because I wasn't pushing right (I was, she was coming out, and he didn't even bother checking me). I was also stuck in the hospital because my daughter had jaundice and they forced me to give her formula, because they said nursing wasn't enough, and I asked to take her out to comfort her when she cried, and instead, without my permission, they shoved a pacifier in her mouth. Anyways, after all of this, my care providers proceeded to tell me I was wrong that they did anything wrong, except one nurse, who admitted what the nurse had done with the checking during four contractions thing wasn't needed.

Anyways, 5 months later, I tried to file a report against my doctor, only to come to find, he had hislicense revoked for killing to newborns with forceps by crushing their heads. Smurfing evil bastard, I am so glad he's gone.

Quoting barefootmama'sTTC:“ I was in early for 5 days, and hadn't slept in four. It started at a doctors appointment, where my OB ... [snip!] ... hislicense revoked for killing to newborns with forceps by crushing their heads. Fucking evil bastard, I am so glad he's gone.”

       
Oh my GOD that has to be the worst birth story I have ever heard.   I am SO sorry you went through that experience!