Kidnapping

ok well i was watching day of our lives. Sydney was kidnapped and they just found her. Sydney still being pretty much a baby she would never remember any of it.

my question is if your child was kidnapped , God forbid it ever happen, but you got them back while they were still a baby and they wouldnt remember would you tell them? if so at what age would you tell them and how?

I would, but I dunno at what age. I almost got kidnapped when I was a baby and it makes for an exciting story to tell people. Not really a good thing, but its something to start a conversation, I guess.

I probably would but it would depend on a lot of things.. How long they were gone, who kidnapped them, what happened to them while they were kidnapped, etc.

Quoting susanesque:“ I would, but I dunno at what age. I almost got kidnapped when I was a baby and it makes for an exciting ... [snip!] ... and it makes for an exciting story to tell people. Not really a good thing, but its something to start a conversation, I guess.”

thats one hell of a conversation starter

Quoting →Bree*:“ ok well i was watching day of our lives. Sydney was kidnapped and they just found her. Sydney still being ... [snip!] ... back while they were still a baby and they wouldnt remember would you tell them? if so at what age would you tell them and how?”

Well this kind of already happened to my daughter, she doesn't know what happened now, but will someday, in the far, far, far future.

Story goes:
My ex and I broke up, and my ex wanted Lily for the night. I wanted to go hang out with friends and see them, so that was fine with me. Keep in mind Lily is about a year old, my ex had just moved back into the state and had done nothing to help me with her for her entire life. I'm also still nursing. But I say sure, give them a night, Ill have fun, Ill get her in the morning. Morning comes, he begs me for just one more night, they were really having fun.

So I reluctantly said yes, but I enjoyed my me time and had a quiet night at home. Next morning I call and he wants her again. I say "You are welcome to come here, but I need her here, she needs to nurse, I didnt give you enough milk, she can't be away for 3 days at this age." My ex starts pitching a fit, saying I dont let him be a parent, that he deserves his time with her, its his right as a father, his family wants to see her and Im denying them that right. Well I get TICKED because he disappeared for 3 months in Texas and never sent any money, clothes, nothing. While he is gone his family never asked to see her. They had this time, and they didn't take the chance. Sorry, but they had the chance, its not my fault he packed up and went to Texas, so no... I needed her home but he was welcome to come to my house and see her there. So was his family.

Our families lived about an hour away, and he says "No, you aren't getting her back. I will decide when you get her again. This is my time" and hangs up. My sister and I drive an hour away to his parents house where he is supposed to be. His Mom says he isnt there, we are calling him, shes all "Jenn, just go home and talk to him, he has rights, she has the right to see her Dad" so I then yell "He had f-ing a year of chances he f-ed up, not my fault!" We get a call with him saying he is at his Aunts house. We go to his Aunts 30 minutes away. His whorish Aunt is saying "Im not telling where Matt is, this is what happens when you are a kid and have a kid. Matt is being a man and stepping up and you are being a kid and not letting him be a Dad." Stepping up? What? Seriously? He had NEVER done anything for her! She also said "He is young, he didnt ask to be a Dad, this isnt his responsibility." Right... I was 19 when I had her, he was 21. Who was the young one there???? So I said "Yes Terry, you know so much about parenting, so does your sister (my ex's mom) thats why you all have multiple kids with different fathers that want nothing to do with their kids. It must run in the family."

So I call the police and ask what to do. They said he was a flight risk because of what his family said, and escorted me to the last place I thought he could be at, his Grandpas house. The cop instructed me to get the baby, get in the car, and drive down the street and we would meet. So there is fighting and yelling, he is telling me about all the money he has spent on her and I dont let her see him... and my sister is yelling about how I have never seen a dime of his in any form, even material form, so what the hell is he talking about?

I get Lily, talk with the cop and said they would of filed for kidnapping if there was a custody order he breeched, but by law, if there is no custody order he was within his rights to take her wherever he wanted. Technically, he could skip the state and would be within his rights. He advised us to not even talk to him until we went to court and had a custody order.

He left some threatening calls after that but stopped calling except once a year or so he calls to harass me and say Im a whore and don't know how to take care of a kid, and that he knows I abuse Lily. Like really, wth?

So now my kiddo is 6, hasnt seen her "father" since shortly after her first birthday when that whole ordeal happened, and I hope to never see that poor excuse of a human again!

Quoting FroggysMommy:“ Well this kind of already happened to my daughter, she doesn't know what happened now, but will someday, ... [snip!] ... shortly after her first birthday when that whole ordeal happened, and I hope to never see that poor excuse of a human again!”

goodness gracious. i would have killed him. god. i still would kill him. he doesnt have a dam right to say anything about how you raise ur daughter if hes not even in the picture. i hate men. there all freakin idiots i swear

Quoting →Bree*:“ goodness gracious. i would have killed him. god. i still would kill him. he doesnt have a dam right ... [snip!] ... to say anything about how you raise ur daughter if hes not even in the picture. i hate men. there all freakin idiots i swear”

If he ever comes near me or my daughter again he will be extremely sorry.

Sucks that even despite that, and him not contacting me for 5 years, the state won't terminate his rights, ugh, it's bs!

Quoting FroggysMommy:“ If he ever comes near me or my daughter again he will be extremely sorry. Sucks that even despite that, and him not contacting me for 5 years, the state won't terminate his rights, ugh, it's bs!”

why not? thats ridiculous. he wont sign them over?

Quoting →Bree*:“ why not? thats ridiculous. he wont sign them over?”

In Colorado a parent cannot sign away their rights without someone adopting the child and taking the role of the other parent. So really until I get married and Tony adopts her, he can't sign over his rights. The state will also very very rarely terminate rights for the same reason. They want someone there to take the place of the absentee parent.

So I guess Colorado thinks that he deserves rights after all the crap he did to her, and I'm not capable of taking care of her on my own **rolls eyes** Its BS.

My boyfriend is willing to adopt when we get married, but I don't see us marrying for at least a couple years. She also has his last name and I can't change it without his permission. I tried and went to court and everything, and the last judge I saw said that even though he wasn't in her life he has a right to say whether or not her last name can be changed. I was TICKED. So our family friend is a lawyer and is trying to get a case drawn up for rights to be terminated and her name changed, based on him abandoning her and it being in her best interest to not have him in her life.

Its a stupid, long ordeal. My boyfriend has been in my daughters life since I was still nursing. We have only been dating close to 3 years, but he is more of her father than her biological one is, and it sucks the state cant see that.